Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | 598 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Sniper? I Hardly Know 'Er!

Don't smile too hard, because there's evil afoot! Er, evil's around. And aghast. And it's abreast. Hee. A breast. Thunderous music plays as we cut to a shot of monochromatic Metropolis and the LuthorCorp headquarters. Somebody outside squeaks their car alarm. Outside, Lex's silver sports car is parked right in front, next to a sleek black car which we can assume belongs to Papa Luthor. Don't these guys get covered parking? Inside, in his cold, cold modern office, Papa Luthor is talking on the phone to a doctor, whom he tells he'll have Lex visit by the end of the week. Papa gets off the phone just as Lex walks through the automated doors. Lex is wearing a regular business suit including a tie, and while you would think Lex in a suit would be rrrroooowwwwrrrr, it's actually more like meow. It just makes him look buttoned-up and stiff. And not in the good way. Lex is carrying a silver suitcase. Papa Luthor welcomes him back and gives him a "bro" handshake, underhanded. Lex says it feels like he never left. Papa Luthor chuckles. I hope that was a good inside joke. Papa Luthor says that Lex gets the office next to his, with the river view. Lex says he's not there to enjoy the scenery; he's there to generate profits. Did he just channel Michael Douglas from Wall Street? Papa Luthor tells Lex he already has the job, and says that Lex will need to fill out some paperwork. "Coffee?" Papa Luthor asks. I'd love some. Lex says, "I'm good." He lies. He's actually great. Lex looks at the paperwork. "Corporate life insurance?" he asks. Papa Luthor pours some coffee for me and says it's standard for all upper-level employees. Lex asks if $50 million is standard. No that's "Platinum." Papa Luthor says, "Don't underestimate your own value, my son." If he had told Lex that in Little League, they might not have been at odds for so many years. Lex hesitates. He says it's hard not to read too much into it to see dollar signs attached to the value of your life. Papa Luthor forces a chuckle and says he thought they'd moved past Lex's "distrust reflex." Only Duran Duran truly understands "The Reflex." Lex calls it common sense. Papa Luthor explains that Lex is a corporate asset, and that if LutherCorp loses him, the company needs to be compensated. I know it's supposed to seem all evil, but it makes perfect sense to me. Rich people got gold in their veins. Papa Luthor pats Lex on the shoulder, like, three times to signal that he understands Lex's reluctance. Papa Luthor tells Lex to give his security card to Nelson on his way out. Nelson cries, "Ha ha!" So is Lex fired now?

Smallville

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