Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Sniper? I Hardly Know 'Er!

Next, Clark and Pete are walking through the woods. I have no idea why Clark is dragging poor Pete by foot when he could have superzipped there hours ago, and Pete is right to bitch that his definition of a "hike" ended two miles back. Clark says that they have to gather evidence for the police. Why not just send an anonymous tip? Oh, right -- because this isn't Law & Order. Clark wants them to search a cabin where Van McNulty and Daddy McNulty used to hang out together. Pete continues to bitch that they've already searched a lot of McNulty's stuff -- the car, the locker, the house. Clark mentions that the murder weapon was a hunting rifle. Pete says that it's not like you can't find out of those on the back window of every truck in town. Funny, though, that we've been seeing trucks on this show since it started, and not once have we seen a gun rack like that. Would that Pete's observation were consistent with the show he's on.

Clark and Pete walk into a musty cabin that's completely unlocked. Clark shines a flashlight inside even though it's still the middle of the day. Product Placement Pete says that the inside is in serious need of some Lemon Pledge. Oh, Pete. You're so brand-aware. Before they've touched a single thing, Pete is already being annoying, saying that they should go and that there's nothing there. If anything, Pete should want to take a breather, scope out some brands in the cabinets -- maybe make a plug for Off! insect repellant. Clark spots a photo on a shelf. "He was pretty tight with his dad," Clark says. I'm not going anywhere near that. Pete says that there's no offense in father-son bonding. He says that a little defensively; no wonder we've never seen Mr. Ross. Clark finds a closet with a small padlock on it. Clark does his x-ray vision and sees a bunch of guns inside. He calls it a "serious arsenal." Pete says, "It's a hunting cabin. What do you expect?" Pete's ass was ready to leave just a minute ago. Does anybody really know what Pete's character is supposed to be? Clark's conscience? His "Little Buddy," à la Gilligan's Island? Token naysayer? Pete, it's like we don't even know you anymore. I remember your glory days -- those days and nights of Sneaky Pete. Clark crushes the padlock like so much Nilla Wafer-brand snack cookies, as Pete might say. Inside: rifles, a crossbow, and the work "FREAKS" spraypainted in green on the wall. On the wall are bios of supposed freaks, each with the browser headings "FILE OF WEIRD." Several people have been Xed in green paint, including Pasty Gill Fish Freak Boy (you can get him as scampi now at Red Lobster-brand seafood restaurant, with a nice side of lemon butter). Clark shines his flashlight up and to the right and sees a bio of Lex Luthor with an X on it. I thought you were only supposed to put an X after you killed the person. But then, I don't know from murder. Pete asks what Lex's picture is doing there. "Pete, call the sheriff," Clark says in alarm. He runs away. Pete stands still with what looks like absolutely no intent to use his Verizon-brand cellular phone to alert the authorities.

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