Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Sniper? I Hardly Know 'Er!

The Torch. Chloe is reminding Clark that Lex has survived a meteor crash, a car accident off a bridge, and a plane crash. He's Unbreakable! Chloe says that even Lex can't afford a guardian angel with that much clout. It's not money he uses to pay for it. Chloe types on her computer (which I covet) that according to Lex's medical records (ethics? What ethics?), Lex's white blood cell count is off the charts. Meanwhile, the White Stripes' White Blood Cells has finally fallen off the charts. Clark is mad that Chloe's been keeping a file on Lex. Clark asks Chloe if she didn't already learn her lesson about keeping secret files. Chloe says that they're her own private notes. She asks when curiosity became a crime. Right about the time they passed those animal cruelty laws saying you can't kill cats. Clark tells Chloe that Van McNulty (almost totally Nultz) has been using her database as a hit list. He tells her that McNulty had the same files on his bulletin board. Chloe looks at Lex's profile on her computer and remembers that McNulty helped set up the computer network. She says he must have cracked her password. Chloe has the Moment of Realization. "Oh God, Clark," Chloe says, "this is all my fault." Clark sighs and says he didn't mean to blame Chloe. Clark must be completely sick of girls at this point. They're all emotional and needy (just on this show! Don't email me, ladies! You know I love you!) and he constantly has to reassure them. He's about to start a He-Man Woman Haters Club. Clark says it's not like Chloe pulled the trigger. Chloe, teary-eyed, says she just loaded the gun and pointed it in the right direction.

In other news, Lana hasn't been around since the beginning of the episode. And the crowd goes wild: "Yaaaay!"

Deep in LuthorCorp headquarters. Papa Luthor -- very paternal and concerned -- comes in and finds Lex sitting in an office. He's glad Lex is all right. He says that Lex is now covered by his personal security. Lex laughs and says he appreciates the gesture, but that he's not gonna let an adolescent assassin disrupt things. Papa Luthor tells Lex not to take that cavalier attitude. The Cavaliers suck. If anything, he should have an attitude inspired by the greatness of the San Antonio Spurs. Lex notes that he's insured now. Papa Luthor says that, actually, he isn't: he's having trouble getting Lex insured by Lloyd's of London. They can insure J.Lo's ass, but not Lex's life? Lex seems surprised. "On what grounds?" he asks. Papa Luthor says it's because Lex has a tendency to attract near-death encounters. Lex says he would think surviving would count for something. They're having a grand old time talking about insurance and death. Papa Luthor says, gregariously, that he'll get it straightened out. Lex says, "Dad. Before the meteor shower, was I ever sick?" Papa Luthor says that as a child, Lex had asthma, but other than that, no. Did Lex ever survive a train wreck? Get married to Demi Moore and date Alisha Klass? Lex asks if Papa Luthor doesn't find it strange that Lex hasn't been sick a day in his life since. Lex is very tickled by all this. "What's this about, Lex?" Papa asks. Lex says it's nothing. He says he inherited strong genes. They both laugh. Lex walks away, and Papa Luthor suddenly looks dead serious.

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