Back at the hospital, Clark gets his frequent visitor card punched and then stares at Lana from outside the room. Chloe comes in, asking how Lana's doing. Nice wavy hair, Chloe! Seriously. I'm liking it. Clark says that Lana was cut up and given a sedative, but she kept saying, "Don't let him see me" over and over again. Ah, vanity. Clark points out that Dick Butthead was acting the same way recently. He says the only thing they found in common was a spike in serotonin levels. Nice of the doctors to share all that info with Clark. "Serotonin?" Chloe asks. Clark has to explain to Chloe what that is, which is pretty funny. Chloe mentions that Lois misspelled that word three times in her "slander" piece on extreme makeovers. Chloe knows better than to use that word. Slander is spoken. Libel is written. She's just being written dumber and dumber every season. Chloe mentions Scabrous's connection with Dick Butthead, citing Lana, but I doubt that information was ever passed on. Chloe makes the leap to Scabrous's supposed plastic surgery, and suggests that the procedure made her more beast than beauty. Clark watches Lana as dramatic music swells. It's not that dramatic.
Lois at MamaScab's office. Lois lies that her parents think she's too young for plastic surgery. MamaScab, with her boobies peeking from a half-buttoned shirt, says that most parents dont remember what high school was like. MamaScab says she wasn't homecoming queen and always saw pretty girls get handed everything. Two years and seven surgeries later, she says, all that changed. You mean she's packin' plastic? Lois smiles in agreement. Wow! Surgery rules! Lois says she's interested in the new procedure MamaScab used on Scabrous. Is that public information? MamaScab says you only have to come in once. She didn't want her daughter to suffer prolonged pain just to have what other people are born with. They schedule an appointment. Unfortunately, Lois's tape recorder, hidden in her purse, starts to rewind. MamaScab hears it. Busted! "I'm going to expose you," Lois says. Too late. Her boobies have already come out and said hello. MamaScab tries to stop Lois from leaving. Lois says something about beauty being on the inside. Does she even know what show she's on? MamaScab pulls Lois by the throat and jams a needle into her neck. My, what a cogent metaphor for all that is Smallville. MamaScab says, righteously, that the people who say that are the ones who already have it on the ouside.
The Torch. Clark and Chloe walk in. Clark thinks that Chloe must have let her inner slob out. Turns out it was Lois who made a desk mess by pulling articles about MamaScab's instant makeover technique. Chloe says that the procedure was sending patient's serotonin levels through the roof. I thought Scabrous was her first trial. Clark says she was working on a suppressing medication to counteract that. Chloe surmises that Scabrous is passing on high serotonin levels somehow. I ask my wife if this is "medically stupid." She just nods and keeps reading the paper. Clark somehow knows that Scabrous kissed the football dude, but wonders how Lana got it. Lana shudders a bit. Lesbian kiss, guys! It's right in front of you! Think of the show's producers! Chloe wonders if Lana and Dick Buthhead just need a dose of that counter-acting medication to bring their serotonin back down. FYI: anti-depressants bring up your serotonin. There's not really any medication to bring it down. Chloe notices Lois's appointment book, which has a Post-It showing her appointment at 1:30. Lois left her appointment book just lying out like that?