Smallville High. Lots of foliage outside! Somebody's reading The Torch. "SKIN DEEP," the headline blares. "Behind the Mark of the High School Façade." And it has a photo of Lois Lane in lieu of a simple byline. Is this an exposé or a personal column? And the photo's black and white on a color front. Journalism, people! Lois is reading the paper in the middle of the hallway, trying not to look too ecstatic. Chloe comes over with her stylish new hair. "It had a typo!" Lois bitches, trying to play it off. "Oh, nice try," Chloe says. She gives us exposition on Scabrous: she snarks that MamaScab is going to play "mirror, mirror" on the Psych ward wall for a while now. But she wasn't crazy. Just ambitious and murderous! Lois asks if Scabrous will be all right. "Yeah, she'll be back next week," Chloe says. So...the fuck!? She's going to be all right? She's back next week? No counseling? No "Kisses off-limits" rules? Smallville, I tip my hat to thee. You've reached a new level or incompetence in wrapping up a storyline. Chloe changes the subject to Lois's first pep rally. That's much more interesting! Lois, who looks ten years older than everyone else here, says it's not exactly her dream Friday night. Chloe calls Lois the town's newest "celeb." Chloe gives Lois a stack of fan mail from readers. Lois says she never expected anyone to read the story, much less to have a "life-changing experience" as a result of it. Lois is taken aback. Chloe is loving this: "Welcome to the bullpen, Miss Lane!" She leaves her cousin amused and inspired. Chloe says (in another weird dialogue loop) that she's going to go watch Clark Kent in a wet t-shirt. She asks Lois to join her. "Like I've never seen that before," Lois responds, again in weird voice-over.
A loud Avril song about happy endings plays while Clark sits, wearing shorts on the dunk tank. Jason tosses Lois a football. "Keep your eye on the target," he tells her. Chloe watches. Where's Lana? Clark calls out to Lois, asking if the boys on the base taught her anything. "Wouldn't you like to know," she responds. Lois says that Clark's going down. "That'll be the day," he says. The day he hangs out with Lex? People cheer and chant for a dunk. Lois winds up and hits the target. Clark is dunked. Chloe and everyone else cheer. Clark emerges, soaking wet. Lois comes over to him, smiling huge, and messes with his hair. Clark splashes some water at her. Everything goes to slow motion. Clark tosses water from his mane. He's smiling huge, too. Chloe notices Clark and Lana making googly eyes at each other. Chloe's big smile turns to a thoughtful frown. "So much for my happy ending," the song says emphatically as we cut to black. I said it in the recaplet, and I'll say it again: why bother to bring Chloe back to life if you're just going to kick the shit out of her for another season?