Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Alien Vs. Predator-Dork

Out in the alley. Chloe is calling Clark's name. She tries Clark's cell. Lois shouts out: "Hey, Smallville!" Chloe hears a phone ringing nearby. It's Clark's. They find it lying atop a mound of dirt. Wow, Invisalyin's such an amazingly professional hitman that he left the victim's cell phone lying on ground level. Genius! Lois and Chloe, panicked, dig up Clark from under a very light layer of soil at a construction portion of the street. Chloe discreetly tosses the meteor rock aside. Clark wakes up. "He's going after Lex and Lana," he says. Suspense!

Lex is in his hospital bed using a laptop and connected to the Internet, which doesn't at all interfere with the hospital machinery. He's using AOL with his very secure login, "LexLuthor." I'm starting to think Lex deserves to get the constant kidnapping, blows to the head, and bullets to the stomach. The equally mysterious AOL user, MiltonFine asks over Instant Messenger, "Is the compound virus ready?" It should totally be, "Iz com# virez redy? ;) " Lex types back, "YES." YES! ITZ REDY! CAN U HEAR ME!? CLARK SUX0RZXZZ! LETS SPLIT KRYPT0L33TTZZ! Lex hears a sound from outside his room. He moves a newspaper and there's a gun underneath it. Someone opens the door. It's Lana. She totally needs to check her Hotmail. Lex says that he thought she was someone else. Someone good. "Just me," Lana says. She brought Lex a gift. Lana opens it herself, because Lex is that feeble. It's a dark striped set of pajamas. Lana says that she thought Lex would prefer it to the uncomfortable hospital garb. Sudden bleeding will show up great on that, thanks. "They're perfect," Lex says.

A guard standing outside of Lex's hospital room just minding his own business suddenly gets his neck snapped. His feet twitch. The door opens. Dramatic music goes nuts. Lex, still holding Lana's hand, gets out of bed, pointing the gun. He pushes Lana behind him and swings wildly. We see Lex looking pretty dumb in Invisalyin'-Vision. Lex sees a cart move. He shoots up the place. Lex has about 10,000 rounds in that gun. Lex, leading Lana with him, searches the room. Lex and Lana notice some drops of blood spilling onto the floor. Lex is suddenly punched in the face. Invisibly. Ha! Lex drops the gun. Now do the Man vs. Invisible Man wrestling match! Lex winces. Instead of kicking Lex in the face, Invisalyin' uses his bloody hand to pick up the gun. He's now visible. Invisalyin' raises the gun at roughly a half-meter per hour. "Lana, run!" Lex yells. They do.

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