Smallville
Fade

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Alien Vs. Predator-Dork

On the roof. There are some lights strung along the edges of the rooftop. It looks very nice. Clark tries not to get too close to the edge. "Beautiful night, huh?" says a woman who walks up to Clark. Clark agrees. The woman's wearing a tight black dress. She looks a bit older, but is good-looking in a wholesome yet prostitutey way. "I'm Gia," she says. Of course you are. Clark shakes hands. Gia says she knows who he is, and adds that a good-looking guy like him must have a girlfriend. Or, you know, a person. Clark gets very nervous. "I...don't," he says. Gia asks whether Clark wants to take the conversation somewhere else, like, say, the bedroom, which has an even better view. (Of her vagina.) She kisses Clark. He likey. Clark giggles. "I don't even know you," he says. "That's okay," she says in a voice several registers lower than any male actor on the show. Apparently, Invisalyin' told her that Clark is shy. Clark suddenly wants to back out. "He wants you to have a good time," she says. Clark's expression changes in degrees of about ten for several seconds while he figures out that she's a hoo-ooaar. Clark says there's a misunderstanding. Gia tries to get him past that, but Clark walks past her. So much for that view of the vagine.

Inside. Clark snaps at Invisalyin' that they're now even. But did you at least get the blowjob? The blowjob was the real gift. It was that or a gift card for Target. Invisalyin' apologizes and says he thought Gia was what the doctor ordered (Doctor Vagine, OB/GYN), but he was wrong. He admires Clark's deepness. "You must have really loved your ex," he says. Well, the producers do, see. Invisalyin' suggests that they get the two of them back together. Clark says that it's a little late for that. "It's never too late," Invisalyin' says. Clark says that she's with somebody else now. Invisalyin' says that makes it harder, but not impossible: "Who's the lucky bastard?" Clark says, "Someone I used to call my friend." Invisalyin', personally offended, says that's not just crossing the line; it's plain wrong. "If you knew Lex Luthor you wouldn't be surprised," Clark says. Invisalyin' says she may be with the billionaire now, but he thinks things will have a way of working out. Wink wink, Clark. Clark sort of believes that. Invisalyin' says he's always right. Wink, wink! He watches as Clark goes. He fights the urge to yell, "Wink, wink, Clark!"

Stately Luthor Manor at night. Lex is walking down the hallway, talking on his cell to Professor SoFine. Lex tells him that some viruses are being genetically spliced as they speak. Soon, they will create the greatest tomato the world has ever seen! Bwah ha ha ha ha! Imagine the salads! Lex hangs up. He hesitates. We see him from behind, as Invisalyin' watches in a highly saturated point-of-view shot. Lex notices that a tapestry on the wall is moving. He thinks that's weird. Invisalyin' watches. Lex thinks something's wrong. And then it happens! Invisalyin' chokes Lex with a plain piece of rope. Wow. That's pretty low-rent, Mr. Greatest Assassin in the World. Lex struggles. He pushes Invisalyin' back into some priceless art. The assassin is still holding the rope. They struggle some more, into Lex's office. Lex is losing strength. They collapse to the ground. Lana walks in. "Lex!" she calls. It looks like she sees Invisalyin', but then she looks again and he's gone. Lex falls to the floor, not-quite-dead. That was edited in a clever way not to let us know what the fuck is going on. Nice. Lana calls for an ambulance as two pokey security agents run in. The game must have been on. Not the sports event. The Game with Michael Douglas. Lana tells Lex things will be fine. Except for all that neck pain.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP