Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Baern Again

Kent Farm. MamaKent comes home after what looks like a long day of work. She calls for Clark. She says that she cancelled her meetings and came home early. She complains about political blowhards dragging their feet on school reform. MamaKent turns on the living room light. Bow Wow is standing there. She gasps. This is the third time a character has reacted in the same way. "Oh. There's a young rap singer standing in my house. What do I do?" MamaKent calls for Clark again. "Don't you mean Kal-El?" Bow Wow asks. MamaKent asks who he is. Bow Wow says he'd like to know where Clark went. He raises his hands to shoot at MamaKent, but just then we hear a strange electronic noise. Bow Wow breathes deeply. He looks up. "Kal-El," he says. He zips out of there in a blaze of fuchsia. He's nice enough to use the back door instead of just blasting through the thing. MamaKent looks around, frightened.

Back at the Fortress. All the ice dildos are lit up and they are pretty ice dildos indeed. They fade back to darkness. Raya says that's all the energy she was able to draw. She hopes it's enough. Clark says he's heard the sound before. Raya says each Kryptonian family has its own beacon that is uniquely their own. It's the El Ringtone. Clark wonders why it sounds like the theme from I Dream of Jeannie. She's sure Bow Wow will recognize the sound. Bow Wow is already there, again appearing without warning or detection. He mocks Jarnelle's house 'o knowledge. "I thought it'd be bigger," he says. Don't be talkin' 'bout El size, jerk! Clark says it doesn't matter; Bow Wow won't be staying long. "Big talk, big man!" Bow Wow says. Oh, this is just embarrassing. Bow Wow says Jarnelle must have been right about how the sun affects "you Kryptonian cockroaches." They have roaches in space? That's kind of makes me sad. Bow Wow holds up his hands like he's going to do magic. "But I'm back," he says, "and now I'm super-sized!" I, for one, welcome supervillains who arrive with extra fries.

Bow Wow, really getting into it now, says this is the perfect place for the fall of the House of El. He fires a purple blast at Clark. Clark holds up the Kryptonian crest, but he still gets blasted back on his ass. Clark sees the Crest lying nearby. "Paying for the sins of your father can be a bitch," Bow Wow tells Clark. Bow Wow fires again, but this time it hits Raya. Can't she dodge? Or fly? Or anything? She just turns and gets shot up the back. Where's your badass Phantom Zone fighting skills? The beam fires through her chest. She screams and falls. Clark quickly grabs the crest and stands, just in time to absorb the purple beam. Tug-of-beam as Clark steps forward. They both grimace. Bow Wow falls to his knees. Clark's beam finally wins. The wraith that was in Bow Wow's body appears in its spirit form. The cartoon monster shape gets sucked into the crest. The crest finally seals off. The body of Bow Wow falls unconscious. Ethereal music plays. Clark calls for Raya. She's still alive, but hurt. She rolls over. "The crystal," she manages, "it has enough power now. Restore the fortress." Why not, er, heal yourself, Raya? You know, use your Kryptonian power? Get a little sunlight? Take care of those wounds? Get Clark to stop time or something? You know, use your amazing powers that you've gone through training to learn how to use? No? Not going to try that? All right then. Just making sure. Raya starts to struggle with her breathing. "You can't leave me!" Clark tells her. Yeah, she shouldn't. Suck it up, Raya. Raya, whose makeup and hair is perfect, puts a hand on Clark's cheek. "I'm sorry," she says, "I couldn't share in your destiny, Kal-el." She dies. Luckily, her lipstick is not so much as smudged. Clark tries to cry. It's not pretty. Thunderous music ends the scene.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP