Smallville
Fallout

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Baern Again

Clark explains that the fortress is damaged. Jarnelle was out of town, and he invited a few friends over and before he knew it, the whole place was a mess! Clark says he didn't trust Jarnelle because of all the pain the dude caused him. "Pain is a part of anyone's journey, Kal-El, you can't escape it!" she snaps. Yeah, suck it up, Mopey! She says Clark must accept his destiny. "Too bad that destiny's just gotten a little shorter," says Bow Wow, who is leaning against the rail of the loft upstairs in a very un-Kryptonian way. So Clark and Raya both have superhearing and they didn't detect this jackass standing ten feet away? Bow Wow walks down some stairs. "The last son of Krypton," he says, "I've been waiting for this moment for a looong time." Clark says this guy is the one who's been coming for him. Bow Wow says that he thinks it'll be worth the trip. He super-zips across the room and asks if Raya recognizes him. He says it's her old friend. "Baern," he says in a lowered voice. Of the Phantom Zone Baerns? The ones who never RSVP for big Phantom Zone parties and drink all the beer? You guys are DICKS! "He's one of the phantoms," Raya says, correctly figuring that Clark can't deduce this himself. "How do you like the new suit?" Bow Wow asks, holding his hands out. Clark asks what he wants. Bow Wow says that he wants to pay back Clark's "old man" for giving him a one-way ticket to hell. "But then he had to get hisself eviscerated," Bow Wow says. Is "hisself" part of the inter-dimensional space dictionary? Bow Wow calls Krypton an ice cube of a planet. Ice cube? Them's fightin' words, fool! Don't be talkin' 'bout my cube planet! Bow Wow shoots a purple beam at Clark from his hands. The beam sends Clark flying back and through the open barn door. Clark knocks over a smallish water tower and hits the ground roughly. Bow Wow breathes deeply. This is hard work! He's sweating. Bow Wow comes at Raya in slow motion. She detects it and spins, kicking him in the face in bullet time. He flies out the side of the barn. Raya runs to Clark. She helps him up. He's got a big burn stain on his shirt. "Where is he?" Clark asks. Bow Wow is gone, baby.

More commercials = less recapping. I won't complain. Little Man is out on DVD! The long, cold wait is over!

Kent Farm, daytime. Clark rushes down the stairs, putting on one of about thirty blue T-shirts he owns. As he does, we see a tiny flash of belly. Oh, don't be teasing us like that, farmboy. Give us some nipple. Raya is waiting downstairs, wearing the Martha Stewart Phantom Zone line of casual business wear. Clark says he knows Jarnelle told her where he was sending Clark, but he wonders how Baern Bow Wow knew where to look. She says that in the Phantom Zone, the story of Clark's journey from Krypton is a well-known myth. She says it's a story of hope for some and revenge for others. It's like The Odyssey, but gayer. Clark says that for someone who's been after him for twenty years, the visit was short-lived. So Clark is twenty-years-old right now? Raya says she thinks Bow Wow didn't expect to fight two Kryptonians. She says he was weakening and that his race feeds on radioactive energy. Raya, her eyes never shifting, says that Baern killed hundreds before going to Krypton, but that Jarnelle was able to banish him to the Phantom Zone. Clark wonders whether the monster is looking for more energy. Raya says that Baern can sense power. Only one thing can stop him. "Your father's crystal," she says. It's lying on a red kerchief on the table, a Superman crest in blue glass. It looks like something you'd buy at the airport at the very last minute for someone you're not that thrilled to be visiting.

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