Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
Baern Again

Commercials. I'm going to just question for a moment the wisdom of putting a Rubik's Cube and a PS3 in a commercial together. We already know a Rubik's Cube is fun. As for the PS3...well, we'll just have to wait and see.

And here we are again. Smallville Medical Center. Where all the real drama happens. "Lex!" Lana says forcefully, as she walks into an exam room. Lex has his shirt partly open. He says it's only a second-degree burn and nothing to worry about. Shouldn't he be dying from radiation poisoning right about now? She asks how "That thing" knew about the box. Lex wonders. He looks at Lana suspiciously. Lana asks if he really thinks she'd be involved in this and would let him get hurt. "No," Lex says unconvincingly, "of course not." A light rap at the doorway. Clark is standing there. Uh...hey, dude. What is up? Lex and Lana, standing together, stare at him. Lex asks what he's doing there. Clark says that he went by the mansion and heard Lex was taken to the hospital. All right, Clark, that just sounds creepy. He asks if Lex is all right. "We're fine, Clark. Both of us," Lex says. It's awk-ward! Clark asks what happened. "We had an uninvited guest," Lex says, "but, we're used to that kind of thing." Cold! Really, Clark is just being a huge dumbass here. Did he not think this would be a little weird? "I'm glad you're all right, then," Clark says sheepishly. Lana has a genuinely annoyed look on her face. It's pretty good.

A doctor pops his head in the doorway on the opposite side of the room. He asks Lex to come over for his chest X-ray. Lex leaves with only a glance at Clark. Lana steps to Clark and asks if he's really interested in Lex's health. She asks for the real reason why Clark is there. Clark says that she shouldn't be in the middle of this. Lana says Clark doesn't want her in the middle, but it's too late. She asks Clark to just tell her what's going on, so he pulls out a folded piece of paper. He asks Lana if she's seen this schematic before. Lana says it doesn't matter anymore; the power source is a pile of ash and that Bow Wow already destroyed the thing. Clark thinks, "Oh, shitstains."

The Fortress of Iceitude. Clark reminds Raya that the Fortress is dead and wonders why they're there. She thinks that it's their only hope to defeat Bow Wow and tells Clark this was all they had left of their home planet. Clark says that now it's gone, too. Thanks for reminding her, dickweed. She says the Fortress was a storehouse for all the knowledge in the universe. They even had every DVD set of South Park. "How could this happen?" she asks Clark. He apologizes. He says he doesn't know how to bring it back. "Your father wouldn't have given up so easily," she says. Smack! Clark says he hasn't given up, but he doesn't know what to do. He claims he's tried everything. Except actually trying something. She says he's done everything except the training his father wanted him to go through. Clark doesn't know what to say. "So why are we here?" he finally asks. She says that with the villain at full strength, this is the only place they can risk fighting Bow Wow. Clark wonders if all that energy can make the crystals work again. Raya thinks it can, as long as they stay alive long enough to use them. Clark doesn't think it'll be too easy to get Bow Wow to the Fortress, but Raya plans to reroute whatever residual energy is left to form a signal that'll attract him. Reroute the ice dildos? Her science is tight!

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