Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | 853 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Manchurian Swimfan

More kissing. Clark rolls over on top of Lana. She says "Ow," and Clark immediately jumps out of bed, asking if he hurt her. Lana just rolled over a small planetary rotation model. Clark looks very troubled. He has boner shame. Lana stands up to kiss him some more, but Clark says that maybe they should just go. He's just not that into your vagina, Lana. Lana says this is awkward, but that they haven't been together since she came to Met U. You know, been together. Clark takes a deep breath trying to say what it is they haven't had. "Sex," Lana finishes for him. Ouch. It's like she slapped him. With a dildo. Clark smiles weakly. Lana says that surely Clark has noticed. Clark thinks about the back room at Club Throb and says nothing. Lana says that things haven't been the same between them since Clark miraculously came back from the dead. He orders brains at every restaurant, his skin looks green, and he's got a giant hole in his torso. Clark strides past Lana and says to the wall that the experience changed him. It made his penis shy and dainty around girls. Lana says that she may not understand his ordeal, but that he's still the same person. "It feels like you're afraid to touch me anymore," Lana says, ungrammatically. Clark looks like he's going to throw up. "Did something happen?" she asks. A bum touched his bum. Lana gets frustrated and reminds Clark that they weren't supposed to be keeping secrets now. Clark sighs, "Why is this about me?" Because you're the asshole right now. Clark snipes that Lana's the one who moved to Metropolis two weeks after they got together. He goes on to say that she's spending too much time with her books. He calls her astronomy interest an obsession. "And that thing about honesty? It works both ways," he grouses. Wow. Clark is very Mr. Flinchy right now. Lana thinks about it and finally says, "Nice deflection." She says she doesn't fall for that anymore. It only took five years. She says she's going to go get some air. To cool off her privates.

Kent Farm at night. Bo is in the barn, wearing goggles and chainsawing a hunk of wood. Shouldn't Lois be doing this? You know, Bo, part of your duties as a candidate is not to build your own ballot boxes. Bo picks up a piece of paper on the floor. It's a crumpled photo of himself from a campaign poster. The Chinese Water Torture sound plays as Bo turns and sees a young guy, all in black, standing there trying to look scary. He's one of LexFan's goons. "Just who the hell are you?" Bo asks. The guy backs away and takes off as Bo calls out, asking if he's the guy who's been calling. As Bo comes around a corner, the other unthreatening thug whacks Bo in the stomach with a bat. Bo doubles over and gets hit in the back. LexFan approaches Bo. We get an overhead shot of Bo lying on the ground.

Smallville

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