Smallville
Fever

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In Sickness and In Stealth

The Farm. Clark has superzipped there and is downstairs in the cellar. He starts trying to tarp up the ship while little green dust floats in the air. Clark coughs.

Red truckin'. Clark is driving and Pete is on the passenger side as they drive the ship out of there. Clark asks Pete if the ship will be safe in his barn, knowing full well how things turned out the last time they tried to put the ship there. Pete says he'll put it between the Betamax and his dad's old Pong game. Hee. "Indiana Jones couldn't find it down there," Pete says. Fine. Pretend that episode never existed. Clark looks down and starts to appear a little oogy. The truck begins to swerve on the road. "Clark!" Pete yells. Nauseated Clark. The truck swerves some more, then fishtails off the road and into a roadside ditch, the back wheels caught in it. Pete touches his head. "I'm fine," Pete says, sounding all annoyed. Pete asked what happened. "I'm not sure," Clark says. Pete advises that they get out of there. They get out of the truck. Pete waves for Clark to push the damn truck back on the road. Pete seems really grouchy here. He's probably upset about the product placement he's gotta do later in the episode. Clark tries to push the truck and nothing happens. Pete tells Clark to quit fooling around. Clark says he's trying. In the distance, we hear sirens approaching. Pete looks at the road and over the horizon, a parade of cop cars are coming. "Clark, X-Files alert," Pete says. Clark says that's the DCA team. Pete says, correctly, that they have to get the truck back on the road. Clark and Pete start to struggle and push. Some soil starts to give as they push and push. They manage to get the truck back on the road with their human, burly strength just as the cop cars are getting close. Instead of getting back in the truck, they just stand there, the two most conspicuous men in the state of Kansas (and the province of British Columbia) as the caravan passes. Clark watches as they pass, worriedly. He looks about thirty-five years old.

Commercials. Boy, The WB sure is trying to make The Lone Ranger look mucho macho hetero aren't they?

The DCA arrives at Kent Farm as menacing music plays. I hope they don't find E.T. and put him in an oxygen tent. That would make me cry all over again. Ooh, the new fall biohazard colors! Everyone is wearing very sleek maroon suits and carrying bright yellow kits. Who knew dealing with dangerous substances could be so fashionable? Somebody carries what looks like a head of lettuce in a big plastic baggie. Not because it's dangerous; it's just that the crew hasn't eaten all day and they want to make a nice tossed salad. Another person carries out what look like avocados. Cobb salad? Yes. Another person is digging in soil. We see a table lined with all the baggies, and I swear it looks like a spice sale at the swap meet. A little promo on the screen advertises the two-hour Birds of Prey season finale. They had a season? One that needs a finale? We crane out and see a little yellow tent set up and maroon dudes walking toward the cows, who are all facing the other way like they're expecting a particularly brutal probing. Further back, the red truck is arriving and Bo has a foot up on a fence. Craggy Menace is speaking into a walkie-talkie. Clark gets out of the truck and heads toward Bo, looking around at these strange, color-coordinated disease bees. "Find anything yet?" Clark asks. Bo replies that they haven't. "Please tell me you got the ship out of there," Bo stage-whispers. Oh, he forgot to mention all the high-tech listening devices in their van. Clark says it's at Pete's and that it's safe. Bo chooses to go along with this little selective-memory charade. Clark mentions that his vision got blurry on the road and that he lost control of the truck. And that he temporarily lost all his strength.

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Smallville

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