Lana, bathed in holy light, just sits there. Lex asks if Lana might not see that every horrible thing he did was because he truly does love her. She's sitting in her boyfriend's house. What do you think? "No," Lana says, "you can't ask that." Lana walks to the door to try to get Lex to leave. He tells her that his lawyer is drawing up the settlement. Lana says she doesn't want his money. He asks if that also includes the $10 million she skillfully siphoned out from under him. Busted! Lana says she was trying to escape. To her own island? Lex says he applauds her (why, exactly?). He says that not everybody could manage a coup like that. There's a coup in my stomach over this scene. Lex says he's not sure Clark would see things that way. Lex mentions Clark's cousin. "From Minnesota," Lana says. He says he looks forward to meeting her. Lana watches him go.
Smallville Medical Center. Jimmy is in a hospital bed. Kara is watching him through the window. Chloe and Clark show up. Oh, nice of you to join us, Chloe. Were there some interesting stories you had to write on the way? Chloe thanks Kara for calling them. Does Kara have a cell phone already? Clark says he saw the door she ripped off. He asks if anyone saw her do that. Kara, pissed, asks if Clark thinks she screwed up just like he expected. Kara says she was trying to save Jimmy's life. She thought Clark would be proud. And then she walks off. Chloe sides with Kara on this one. Would you side with her if you saw Jimmy giving her the Penis Eye? Clark, who showed up at the same time as Chloe, somehow knows that Jimmy only suffered a little hypothermia before she does. "I know," Chloe says. Clark was talking to us. She says she hopes the sun is shining when he feels better.
Chloe hands Clark a file on the Weather Girls. She says they were all caught in some freak storm during the last meteor shower. It was really freaky. Clark asks why they're turning on each other over a crown. Chloe, addressing the news clips she just handed Clark, says they've been traipsing all over the Midwest. We see a newspaper headline about mud wrestling (why couldn't this episode have been about that?!) and one about ring girls for a prize fight. Chloe says her personal favorite is the one where they were Oktoberfest maidkins. Hey, I love that one, too! Go sausage and beer! She says that every time they show up somewhere, there's a heist. Chloe says it's perfect; who would suspect vapid eye candy of being "white-trash cat burglars?" I know I've been calling them the Bitches' Brigade, but saying they're "white trash" is going too damn far! For shame. Clark says they're after the map. Chloe says it'll lead them to the treasure. Treasure? Who says "treasure" these days? What is this, a pirate ride? Chloe says there are supposed to be tons of gold bars buried. I'd settle for a Toblerone. Have I mentioned lately how goddamned delicious a Toblerone bar is? If it weren't for their deleterious effect on my shape, I could eat one of those bad boys every day for the rest of my life. At least while I still have teeth. Chloe says those gold bars could be the motherlode of all buried booty. I thought that was Anna Nicole Smith. Chloe and Clark are grimly satisfied that they have a motive for these grisly acts.