Clark is like, "Who in the WHAT now!?" Kara's eyes start flashing weird and bright. She looks shocked. "Hey! Cool down!" Clark tells her. The pre-female-eyejaculation settles back. Clark, embarrassed, tells her it used to happen to him all the time. Oh the shame! The awful shame! A mayor type unveils a giant slab commemorating some damn thing. Clark explains that there's a town legend about a famous outlaw (who shall remain nameless). He robbed a train and buried the loot in town somewhere. A map to the gold is supposedly hidden inside a time capsule that's being unearthed. Kara X-rays the box. She asks why people in town are excited to open up a box of old junk. Their biggest event of the year revolves around harvesting crops. You figure it out.
Suddenly, some very loud guitar riffing is heard. Is this "Hot for Teacher?" A red convertible approaches with three hot women inside. Is that ZZ Top? The three ladies, in very revealing clothes, sashay out of the car. Is that Exposé? My 80s musical references officially end here. It's a blonde, a brunette and an African-American lady. They do exaggerated model poses as they pass by all the fuddy-duddies of the Harvest Festival. One guy in a Chia-pet-looking green sweater leans over and goes, "Ooh!" One guy who looks like Napoleon Dynamite just stands there, his upper teeth jutting forward in approval. A thirteen-year-old girl standing next to him is already so over this. You and me both, sister. The girls, the "fierce" ones of the episode title, runway strut ahead. Clark looks embarrassed to even be gazing upon them. We see a tiara on a podium. The girls approach. One of the ladies of the Bitches' Brigade tells people to get out of their way. She says the "Miss Sweet Corn" crown is hers. Hey, lady, you can have it. All you get as a prize is an ear of corn rolled in some sugar. Jimmy takes photos. We get to see the still-frames. Jimmy, mindful of not wasting film (hey, wait a minute...), only takes one photo of each girl. Kara picks up a flyer for the heretofore-unmentioned pageant: there really is a "Miss Sweet Corn!" On the full-color flyer, a pleasant-looking redhead who is a bit reminiscent of MamaKent gazes wistfully into the distance, the tiara safely on her head. Kara sees the girls filling out papers. She tells Clark that maybe fitting in won't be so bad after all. It takes Clark about ten minutes to figure out what she's going to do, but when he does, he looks really weary. That's the look I'll have on my face for the next thirty-eight or so minutes.