Smallville

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Omar G: D | Grade It Now!
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You Better Work It, Supergirl

Let us pray. O Lords. In the names of Al and Miles, bless this scene that it be Lanariffic. Bless our (almost) virgin, Lana Lang (strike that "Luthor" from the holy scrit), that she may be dewy fresh; that her creamy skin be lit just so from that perfect angle which Al and Miles hath decreed. May it please Al and Miles, let the sunshine cast a warmth upon our Lana so inviting that it wipes our memories of everything foul that hides behind her preternatural smile. We ask that you deliver us from Chloe and that you praise Lana above all others, for she does bless us all with her divine, all-encompassing, supreme perfection. Amen.

Lana watches Clark as the pretty music continues to play. She wears jeans and a white baby-doll top. Clark is really cranking that tractor engine. Lana walks slowly toward him. I totally expect Kara to whoosh into the room, totally naked. Shelby barks at Lana. Clark says, "Uh-oh, looks like she found us." He asks Kara to hand him the Phillips-Head screwdriver. Would an alien really know what one of those looks like? Lana puts a hand on Clark's shoulder. Clark thinks suddenly, "No, we're cousins, we can't, no matter how badly we want to!" He turns and sees Lana. He drops his tool. This is the part where he's supposed to scream, "Lana!? What the FUCK!?" She just stares at him. Clark tilts his head, indicating that he's a little skeptical that this is actually happening. I mean, this is Smallville. Shit be freaky in this town; Clark has reason for doubt. Lana puts a hand on his cheek. Clark, still doubting his own eyes, leans forward and...hugs her? Really? No kiss? Maybe he thinks she might still be dead and that she's got grave breath. Clark closes his eyes and smiles in relief as they keep hugging in the barn.

A pair of really high heels are walking down the street. It's the blonde from the Bitches' Brigade. She's talking on her cell phone. She's telling someone that she's done letting the other girls call the shots, and that this time, it's her turn. Fierce! A guy walking by with his son looks at her like, "I'd like to taste some of that! As soon as we get a turkey leg and some cotton candy. Mmm, turkey leg." Blonde Ambition tells the person on the phone that by the end of the week they'll be in Cabo. Is that some sort of tantric position? "I'd answer the phone, but I'm currently In Cabo. With Sting and Trudy." She walks into what looks like a flower shop with a bunch of large windows. She stands facing the street in front of one of them. As she talks, there's a blast of cold that covers her and the windows with frost. A petal falls off one of the flowers. Remember when they made a horror movie about Jack Frost? And then they made a family movie about Jack Frost that was even scarier? Man, that was terrible.

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Smallville

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