Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C+ | 1626 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
So Long, and Thanks for All the Super

Daily Planet. Lois is busy, busy, busy, collecting notes from the nameless drones that populate her hive. She smells something newsworthy in the fact that the President is in town and Air Force One hasn't left the hangar in over an hour. Maybe someone went on a Krispy Kreme run and there was a line. Chloe tracks her down and babbles something nonsensical about laundry lists and spin cycles. It's her way of acknowledging that Lois has a lot on her mind, but Lois doesn't want to be talked out of not getting married. Chloe makes the relatively sane point that Clark isn't God and he can't be on duty all the time. "He needs to rest! To love, to laugh!" She read that on a cross-stitch kit while she was at Hobby Lobby. Chloe lowers her voice. "When he does finally take to the skies, he's going to need you to ground him." Lois thinks grounding him is bad. As a last resort, Chloe gives Clark's handwritten vows to Lois. As Lois reads them, Clark's voice says aloud: "I, Clark Kent, take you Lois Lane to be my companion forever." I won't transcribe the whole thing, but it ends with "when you believe in someone, it's not for a minute or just for now, but forever." Lois's eyes fill with tears. "I'm such an idiot," she says to herself. Yes, you are, but for so many more reasons than you realize. A lot of time is devoted to watching Lois cry and Chloe crying while watching Lois cry, and then everybody smiling in slow motion while chick music plays.

Watchtower. Tess bustles in, carrying a sexy purple dress that, sadly, we will not get to see her wear to the wedding. She gets working on the computers, trying to access one of their satellites, but the computer tells her it was programmed to disconnect. Tess realizes this means they don't have their "eye in the sky." Lady, just look up. A planet several thousand miles across is practically right on top of you. Tess tries to find out who programmed the satellite but the computer says she doesn't have security clearance. Tess tries to link up with one of the Queen Industries satellites, but that's not happening, either. The computer helpfully tells her that the command to disconnect came from within Watchtower, so Tess looks through the security footage and discovers that Oliver is the culprit. Luckily, Martian Manhunter has a space station she's able to access. She gets her first look at Apokolips advancing toward Earth. If I ever have a space station, I'm going to program it to automatically tell me when a giant flaming planet is heading my way. None of this "finding out at the last minute" crap.

Smallville

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