Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | Grade It Now!
Pudding Out

Chloe and Lana run down the hallway. Haley is waiting, and begs Chloe to get them out of there. Chloe uses a keycard to get them past one door. They pass through a scary-looking boiler-room area. Lana trips and falls. Haley rushes ahead, without Chloe and Lana, to the top of some stairs. The camera follows her with a gratuitous ass shot as she does. She reaches the top, but before she can do anything, PhotoJerkalist is already there, throwing open the double doors. He looks pissed. He tells Haley she shouldn't have tried to get away. She turns. He grabs her. Frozen yogurt, anyone? Chloe and Lana reach the stairs. They look up in horror as PhotoJerkalist waits there for them. Nobody thought to restrain him when he was unconscious? "I thought you felt the same way I did about our future," he says mildly. Chloe and Lana both urge him to let them go. He says he knows they'll like it here. He says that if they don't, they'll end up like their friend Haley. He holds up her frozen mannequin head. Ew! He tosses it toward Chloe and Lana. It smashes on the stairs. The inside is all red and jelly-looking. Daaaaaamn! That's cold. PhotoJerkalist smiles a bit as war drums play. Close-ups on Chloe and Lana. Commercials.

We return to a trio of bad-asses. (Well, two and a half, maybe.) Lex and Papa Luthor are still bound in their little torture room, while Jason sits between them. Why on Earth would Jane Seymour leave Jason behind with these two bastards? Papa Luthor tells Jason he can understand why it's so difficult to deal with his mother. He says that she's ,"ooh, a difficult person to resist." Dirty! Papa recaps the part where Jason was supposed to get close to Lana, but then he got too involved. Jason picks up a gun. He tells Papa that Lana is nothing but his mother's pawn. Lex sits with his shirt hanging open. "A pawn?" Papa says playfully. "Well, that's true, but a pawn you fell in love with." Oops! Papa says it must be killing Jason that he traded his love for Lana for "some maternal warmth..." He spits this last part out as if describing highly illegal porn maneuvers. Jason cocks his gun and levels it at Papa Luthor. Papa concludes, " seems you can't do without?" Jason's hand quivers. Jason sneers and uncocks the gun. He leaves the room. Nice one, Papa. "Makes us look like The Waltons, doesn't it?" Lex jokes. Papa chuckles. He apologizes for getting Lex involved in all this. He says he's sure Lex won't believe it, but that he wishes he were there alone. Lex glances at the fireplace. He says that, to be honest, he's glad Papa Luthor is there with him: "Now, knock that iron out of the fire and get it as close to my chair as you can." Hot damn! Papa takes a moment to chuckle again at his son's derring-do, and then does as asked. He scoots to the fireplace and uses a hand to knock over a rack of pokers, making the poker in the fire flip over. Neat. Lex, still half-shirtless, rocks his chair back and forth until he falls over on the side. He lands right near the poker and lays the back of his wrist against it. The poker starts to burn through the ropes, but judging from Lex's grunts, it's also burning his arm. Impressive considering Lex can't see what he's doing. He manages to break free.

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