Smallville
Forever

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Omar G: C- | Grade It Now!
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Pudding Out

The real Smallville High. Clark is picking up his graduation gown; it's not exactly the way I pictured Clark getting into the world of cross-dressing, but that's fine. We'll take what we can get. Lana, wearing a maroon cap and orange tassel, appears (this is way scarier than Chloe's scenes) and asks Clark what he thinks. Clark thinks "khakis." Clark says it's really starting to hit him: "It's really over, isn't it?" Only in my fucking dreams, Clark. Clark remembers walking in his first day of freshman year. "Actually," says Lana, bathed in annoyingly beatific light, "I think you tripped." Clark says that Lana made him nervous. Even in this little moment, Clark has to lie. "It was cute," Lana says. It was Kryptonite! Lana says that Clark then went on to become a big football star. "Former," Clark reminds her. He reminisces about seeing Lana every morning at their lockers. She looks like she seriously wants to get it on, right here. This isn't the Lana I know. Clark says that things'll change since she's going off to college. Lana says she's not sure she's going to go. Clark's going to community college and Lana's staying here? Four years and they're not going to change one bit, huh? Set your TiVos, people. Next season is going to be awesome! Clark asks what Lana means. She makes an awful expression that looks gastric-based. Clark says she's dreamed of leaving town since she was a little girl. Lana says she feels like, if she goes, it's because it's what everyone expects. She wants to leave town for the right reasons. That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. My brain can't even process through it. It's just white noise up there. I think Lana's pathetic state of being has finally short-circuited me. Well played, Lang. Clark is amazed to hear that she's staying in Smallville. The white noise in my head has become a funeral dirge. Lana says it's going to be tough with everybody leaving. Clark says that maybe they won't all be gone. He says he's thinking of commuting to Central Kansas. Dude, you could commute to NYU! Come on! Lana smiles and says she can stop trying to figure out how to say goodbye. My heart. She is breaking. The woman down the hall distributing gowns calls out some names including "Wendell Johnson" (heh, "Johnson"), Chloe, and Haley. Clark says he figured Chloe would be the first in line. Lana's mouth convulses at the sound of Chloe's name.

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Smallville

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