Lan'sa in the school parking lot. She gets into her unlocked SUV with the driver's-side window rolled all the way down. Nice one, Lana. She digs through her purse and finds what she's looking for: her own personal Gay Stone of Knowledge, wrapped in red silk. It's the one with the "8" on it. She sticks it back in her purse. She's surprised when PhotoJerkalist appears at her car window asking her to sign his yearbook. She laughs nervously and signs. "Most Likely to be a Cover Girl," she reads, pretending to laugh at the folly of it. She says that the photographer had more to do with it than anything. PhotoJerkalist says that a photo can't take the place of the real thing. He reaches out his hand to touch Lana. The hand she's using to sign the yearbook turns the color of hand lotion. Dramatic!
Commercials. Taco Bell. Think outside the bun. While you're vomiting.
The Warehouse of High School Terror. Chloe is walking down the hallway, and we see from the sly camera angle that she's holding a shiv. Ooh, prison bitch! The girl from the yearbook, Haley, warns Chloe that she needs to get to class and shouldn't be late. Chloe says she'll be right there. They both look up at the menacing security camera. PhotoJerkalist suddenly appears. He asks what they're doing. Chloe hides her shiv and says they were planning a study session for a quiz. Haley makes herself scarce. PhotoJerkalist sneers and says he has a surprise for Chloe. They walk past poor Wendell's cream statue.
In the fake Torch office, they find Lana, the color of pudding, sitting on a desk. PhotoJerkalist goes over and unfreezes her by putting two fingers on her cheek. She gasps, loudly. She backs away from him toward Chloe, and asks what's going on. PhotoJerkalist asks Chloe to tell Lana the rules. So nobody noticed him carting all these milk statues across town? Lana asks how she ended up back in school. Chloe, smiling, tells her they're not in school. Lana asks why she's acting weird. "He's watching," Chloe warns. Shot of the security cam. Chloe opens the blinds to show one of the windows with fluorescent light bars and explains that "Mr. Medusa" recreated the school and turned it into a cage. She says it gives new meaning to the phrase "capturing the moment." Or, "gag." Lana only remembers signing PhotoJerkalist's yearbook. Chloe's smile turns to a frown. Chloe goes to get her yearbook and asks Lana to sign it. As Lana does, Chloe asks her to look at the names. She's figured out that all the people being taken are from the "Most Likely To" page. "We're being collected," she says. Like really boring baseball cards! Haley walks in and tells Chloe that, as Chloe asked, Haley told PhotoJerkalist that Chloe has a crush on him. Lana asks what's going on. "He wants high school," Chloe says, "we'll give him high school." Methinks Haley's not long for this show.