Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | 658 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Ross Is Off The Bloom

Kent kitchen. MamaKent is taking bread out of the oven to set near some cooked...pears? You cook pears? Have I been eating them wrong all these years? MamaKent is wearing a pretty tight pair of jeans and a tucked-in shirt that accentuates her figure and saaaaaaay. Nice figure, there. I daydream-elbow Michael McKean for his good taste in ladies. Clark walks in, ruining the mood completely. Clark's got groceries. MamaKent asks if she's off the hook for dinner. Clark says he invited Lana for dinner, and he's chefing. It's Bring Your Own Hot Dog Bun Night. MamaKent says it must be hard to say goodbye. It is! And I'll take with me the memory, to be my sunshine after the rain. Or words to that effect. Clark's got a genius plan, though. It's brilliant! He'll tell Lana his secret and she'll stay and ruin her life! Awesome! MamaKent is surprised by the plan. And concerned. She says it's a big responsibility to ask someone to keep a secret like that. She invokes the name of the nearly departed: Pete. Clark says he knows Pete's had some close calls, but Clark says they're both glad the secret came out, and that it's made them better friends. And it's brought Pete's perimeter game up, too; he used to be a lousy outside shooter. MamaKent asks if Lana's ready. Clark says she's always asked him to be honest; now she can decide for herself. Except she can't undecide once you tell her and you've lied about even the most basic things, not just your alien origins, ya douche. Jeez. MamaKent guesses it's not really fair to raise Clark as one of them and then keep him from one of the best parts of life. Seriously, folks, if Lana is one of the best parts of life, I'm out. Suicide pill, please. Shuffle me off this mortal coil. Clark is surprised that there's no fight about this. MamaKent says she trusts Clark to make his own decision. Clark smiles. He thinks she's talking about his decision on what to serve for dessert.

The Talon. Lana is going over her checklist with Creepy Alanis. The delivery truck seems to be the only thing Lana has to remember. That and the pink blazer. Alanis asks if Lana's sure she wants to leave. Lana says that the fact that this is all she knows is why she needs to leave. Er, right. Alanis says that's too bad, because she though they could be friends. All right, a little creepy. She adds that maybe they could have been best friends. Cah-reeeepy! Very! Lana reacts as I would -- with a hard stare and some awkward emotional backing away. Lana says she's sorry they won't know each other better. "We already do, silly," says Alanis. When somebody says "silly" like that to you, fucking run. It's never a good thing. She says she'll show Lana. Alanis runs upstairs. Lana backs away like she's going to run in the other direction. Good plan. Unfortunately, she bumps into Neil Flynn. Lana puts the pieces together in her head when she recognizes Creepy Crazy Little Girl's father. Neil says he has to get the girl back to LuthorCorp. Lana's freaking out. "What does she want?" Lana asks. She doesn't get an answer. Neil suddenly looks stricken. Right through the heart, even. He stiffens, and then falls. Creepy Alanis, with a blood-stained hand, appears behind him. Is this like the Five-Finger Expoding Heart Technique? He didn't even get his five steps. Creepy Alanis insists that Lana forgive her. It's what friends do, silly! Lana tries to run. Alanis is there. She chops Lana on the chest, and instead of ripping into her body, she merely sends our pink princess sailing across the floor and into a table. Lana gets her fifteenth concussion of the series. Creepy Alanis stands over her and says she's sorry.

Smallville

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP