Smallville
Forsaken (1)

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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The Ross Is Off The Bloom

The Talon. Lana is going over her checklist with Creepy Alanis. The delivery truck seems to be the only thing Lana has to remember. That and the pink blazer. Alanis asks if Lana's sure she wants to leave. Lana says that the fact that this is all she knows is why she needs to leave. Er, right. Alanis says that's too bad, because she though they could be friends. All right, a little creepy. She adds that maybe they could have been best friends. Cah-reeeepy! Very! Lana reacts as I would -- with a hard stare and some awkward emotional backing away. Lana says she's sorry they won't know each other better. "We already do, silly," says Alanis. When somebody says "silly" like that to you, fucking run. It's never a good thing. She says she'll show Lana. Alanis runs upstairs. Lana backs away like she's going to run in the other direction. Good plan. Unfortunately, she bumps into Neil Flynn. Lana puts the pieces together in her head when she recognizes Creepy Crazy Little Girl's father. Neil says he has to get the girl back to LuthorCorp. Lana's freaking out. "What does she want?" Lana asks. She doesn't get an answer. Neil suddenly looks stricken. Right through the heart, even. He stiffens, and then falls. Creepy Alanis, with a blood-stained hand, appears behind him. Is this like the Five-Finger Expoding Heart Technique? He didn't even get his five steps. Creepy Alanis insists that Lana forgive her. It's what friends do, silly! Lana tries to run. Alanis is there. She chops Lana on the chest, and instead of ripping into her body, she merely sends our pink princess sailing across the floor and into a table. Lana gets her fifteenth concussion of the series. Creepy Alanis stands over her and says she's sorry.

Requiem for a Pink. The camera spirals down from roof level down to Lana lying on a big quilt on a bed. She wakes up suddenly. She's in a glass cage surrounded by bedroom furniture. Lana gets up and bangs on the glass. She calls for Alanis. Lana throws a stool at the window, but nothing happens. She screams. A lot. The glass cage, we see, is housed inside a huge barn.

Commercials. What, Lana in glass bondage didn't get you all hot and bothered? You must not be a producer on the show, then.

The corner of LuthorCorp and Stock Footage Avenue. Papa Luthor's having a rough day. He winces and rubs at his forehead as he holds a drink in hand. Lex walks in and says that doesn't look like the face of someone who just secured another government contract. He asks if things are all right. Papa Luthor lies that everything is just fine. He asks his son for some help. He seeks advice about an executive whom he wants to reward with a promotion. Papa Luthor says he has a problem, because this executive doesn't seem trustworthy. Papa Luthor asks if Lex would give the employee a chance to fess up to any disloyal behavior. Lex suggests that these ruthless qualities might make him a good asset. "Or maybe they'd just make him..." Papa Luthor begins, and then he rips open Lex's shirt! I know, dude. Who can resist, right? He finds the wire taped to Lex's chest. "...a disloyal son!" Papa Luthor finishes. Lex says he was protecting himself, the way he was taught. Papa Luthor bitches about Lex taking their problems outside the house. Lex is defiant. He says he had nothing to do with the Metron lab murders, and that Papa Luthor sold him out. Papa Luthor growls that he did it to make Lex stronger. Lex doesn't believe that. He says that Papa can't keep disguising his crappy behavior "under the guise of mentorship." He says that Papa Luthor brought this on himself. He says that the old man's gotten careless with these obscure projects. "What could be that important?" he asks. Papa Luthor says that if Lex had given him any reason for trust, he wouldn't need to ask that question. Lex, in spite of everything, looks hurt. He walks out as the telephone starts ringing. Papa watches Lex leaves, and then answers. "What?" Papa Luthor barks. It's a guy named "Loder" in Metropolis. Kurt Loder? Loder tells Papa Luthor that Lex ("your kid") hadn't found out anything significant. Loder assures Papa Luthor that if Lex does, it'll stay buried. That makes Papa Luthor tingly and happy. Loder also says he's going to talk to "the Ross kid." Loder opens an FBI file on his desk that has a goofy color photo of Clark Kent attached. Wait a minute, Loder is Craggy Chris Isaak! I thought I recognized that nose.

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