Watchtower. Clark has returned. "I can't believe on my first drunken night out I lose Lois, commit a felony and land my friend in jail!" "So reckless," he adds in a whisper. Tess smiles sympathetically and says it's very human of him. I dunno. I'm human and the worst thing I usually do when tipsy is sing bad karaoke. Chloe tries to cheer him up, saying that when this kind of thing happens to other grooms, his friends rally around him. This... probably doesn't happen to many other grooms. Speaking of rallying: Chloe's been a busy little bee, going down to the police station. There's no Emil, and his name hasn't even shown up on any arrest records. Clark's hungover brain realizes those cops weren't really cops.
One of the phony cops is currently beating the snot out of a bound Emil in the storage room of some as-yet-unknown establishment. The phony cop wants the money. A new guy enters the scene: "One more Elvis cover out of you, and you'll be eating those blue suede shoes." The shoes appear to be white pleather, but the point is taken. Also, the new guy looks kind of like Ben Kingsley and is wearing a suspiciously feminine diamond ring on his left pinky. (Presumably he's Amos Fortune, so let's call him that.) There's more Elvis-related conversation and then a death threat if Emil doesn't give back the money. Emil protests that he's already told them he didn't steal the armored car. "It was Lady Luck that brought you to me," Fortune says. "I mean, what are the odds that you would be an overnight sensation on the same night that I was looking for you?" Emil's brain almost explodes from the stupidity of it all. "Post hoc ergo propter hoc," he says. "It's a fallacy!" It's also Smallville writing, dude. Just go with it. Fortune has his thugs turn Emil toward a TV and plays back a surveillance recording. The van is parked in an alley (people gotta stop doing that) when Chloe in her wedding garb prances into the shot, squealing, "A monkey! Hee!" Her drunken friends join her, as do three armed thugs. "Watch this," Clark says, whooshing away with the van. The friends, including Emil, all cheer and laugh. Emil is stunned. "I don't know what burns me more," Fortune says. "The fact that you took my money or the fact that you took my lucky lemur." The lemur couldn't have been that lucky for you if your money still got stolen. Emil thinks that "someone" was actually trying to prevent a robbery. The thugs in the video are the same thugs who grabbed Emil. No one told Emil you're not supposed to tell the bad guys that you're onto them. "Break him," Fortune says to the thugs. Emil looks like he's going to poop his Elvis suit, thank you very much.