Smallville

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Motor City Madness
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The writers' strike is over! Yay! But as far as this show goes, the bad news is that after this three-episode affair, the show goes back into hiatus for at least a few weeks. But we were just warming up! The engine was just reaching crankination! We were all greased up and...you know what? Let's hold that thought until March/April when there's more episodes.

We open on a city called "Detroit," if the title card is to be believed, but instead of real establishing shots, we're in a dark, rainy junkyard that could easily be "Warehouse For Rent, Vancouver." Foreboding, intrusive music tells us this scene isn't going to be a lighthearted romp through the soulful heart of Motown. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes. Improbably, we see Lex Luthor and Lois Lane running along together, having an adventure. Lex is holding a pistol in one hand and some gadget in the other. As Lois follows, she yells that this weather sucks. She asks Lex where they're going. Lex tells her to feel free to get lost. Lois says she never planned on being Lex's "Sundance Kid" ("Dumbshit Kid?"), especially not in the "Armpit of Motor City." The thought of Lois trapped in an actual armpit entertains me briefly. Lois asks what makes Lex think that Kara is here. Lex, still staring at his electronic device, says that Kara's necklace emits a GPS signal. He says that she's somewhere within a hundred yards. The PDA-like device shows a green-tinted map. "You LoJacked her?" Lois asks, accusingly. Lex says that Kara has amnesia and that she could wander off if she lost her memory again. That makes...no real sense, but Lois buys it completely. Lois decides to set off on her own to find Kara. It's not so hard when it's only 100 yards, is it, Lois?

Lex, who must have eyes like a robot, sees something on the ground. He picks it up. It's Kara's silver bracelet, with a little Kryptonian Superman symbol on it. We cut to Lois, still wandering around in the rain. I don't give the show credit for restraint too often, but I'm surprised we're not seeing her in a thin white T-shirt or a soaked low-cut Lycra top. Lois spots Kara, standing behind a chain link fence. Lois asks if Kara is all right. "Do you know me?" Kara asks, confused. She says that a guy named Finley locked her in this chain link fence area to protect her. She asks Lois to help her out. "Does MacGyver blush every time he walks past me?" Lois asks. I'd have a lot better answer for that question if I knew what the fuck Dumbshit Lois was even talking about. It's like English is her third or fourth language, behind "snarkcasm" and "pop-culture misreferencing." Lois says she'll get something to "jimmy" the lock. The show resists the urge to give Kara a flood of memories when hearing the word "Jimmy." Oh, I'm sure they thought of it, though. Lois turns and Finley, a young guy, is standing there holding a gun and pointing it at her. Kara tells him to put the gun down. What might bring this situation to a head, I wonder?

"Put the gun down!" Lex yells, pointing his own weapon. Ah, yes. That'll do it. Finley grabs Lois clumsily and holds her hostage, pointing his own gun at Lex. Finley asks "Bald Man" if it's really worth getting Lois killed to get to him. It really, really, really is, dude. You don't even know. Lois yells out to Lex that it's a rhetorical question. Shoot them both, Lex! Shoot 'em in the head! Finley calls Kara "Linda" and tells her he won't let her get hurt. Can't we go inside and discuss this where it's not raining and they might have nice warm scones? Lois stupidly tries to break free. Finley punches her in the mouth. Lex and Finley both fire their guns. Finley is shot in the shoulder and falls back. We cut to Lex, in slow motion. His gun hand is lowered. We see the gun drop into a puddle of rainwater. Lex falls to his knees. We pan up slowly to see his face. There's a bullet hole dead center on his forehead, just an inch above the nose. Lex falls forward. "Leeeeeex!" Kara screams. We do a close-up on Lex's shot face. He's lying on his side on the cold street, looking peaceful, at least.

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