Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 4 USERS: C
Head Of The Glass

Commercials. Silent Hill, y'all. Fuck. Yes.

Kent Farm mailbox. On the porch, Shelby barks, while Clark and Shardy say their goodbyes. Clark tells her that there's nothing to be afraid of. Shardy says that Clark won't be there, and that she'll have no one to talk to. Clark says that her grandma can't wait to talk to her. Clark hopes she's heard of the Mandrell sisters. Shardy sees MamaKent helping Glasshole Granny to the porch. Man, this is gonna suuu-huuuuuck. Shardy frets that she might not be able to control her powers. Clark says that she can do it. He adds that if she ever feels like losing control, she can just pick up the phone and...HOLLAAAAA! Dance, dance! Clark says that he'll talk her through it. The girl says she already misses Clark. Clark says he misses her, too. Big hug. Clark says that her grandmother is waiting for her. With linseed oil. Two more old-people jokes and I get my official "Asshole Ageist Card!" Wish me luck! Shardy hands Clark a card. It's a very nice color drawing of her, Shelby, MamaKent, the barn, sunflowers, and a rainbow with Clark as a stick figure in the middle. Clark likes the rainbow best. Clark is gonna cry. Ryan never even drew him anything. Shardy and Glasshole Granny hug. Granny leads Shardy to her wood-panel-colored station wagon, which smells like a hospital room. Shardy and Glasshole Granny drive away. Canada's pretty this time of year. Wait. The scene is over! No! Granny, come back! I was so close to getting my ageist card! Goddamn you, Glasshole Granny!

Daily Planet, nighttime. It's quitting time, and Chloe is telling Clark that with Lois's love of gossip, she'll always have the inside track on capital gossip. Clark hopes she doesn't get MamaKent impeached. Chloe asks whether Clark has talked to his mother about Papa Luthor knowing his secret. Nope. Clark asks how Lana is doing. Chloe says she wondered when Clark would bring up "the L word." Annoyed, she says that Clark should just call Lana. Clark, being cute, says that he was trying to give her space. "Has she met anyone yet?" he asks. Oh. Geez. Chloe goes off. She says that if Clark doesn't want to talk to Lana, that's fine, but she asks Clark not to make Chloe his little covert spy. Yeah! Chloe walks off. Clark stops her. He asks if there's something she's not telling him. "No. Not at all," she says, with resignation, and clomps up the stairs.

Lex at his office laptop. Get off my screen, AOL man! Lex is sending an email to Project Mercury dudes in Asia and Africa titled "BLOG READY." It's all about K-Fed. You guys should totally check it out! Lana walks in as Lex stares at his screen. He shuts the computer and greets her with surprise. Security! Lana says that she wanted to talk and set the record straight. Sadly, it's very possible to get things straight with Lex these days. Lex says that he doesn't think the record could be any straighter. Why do you think there's no Gayest Look of the Episode this week? Lex says that Chloe is working on a story where there is none. Lana looks at Lex, bemused. She says that their friendship means a lot to her. She doesn't want any misunderstandings to get in the way of that. Lex says that they're on the same page. He apologizes if he gave off the wrong signal the other night. Lana tenderly says that he doesn't have to apologize for something that didn't happen. Lex says it wouldn't be the first time, and walks toward the fire. Lana says she can't believe they're even having this conversation: "To think there'd be anything between us besides friendship..." Lex says, "Don't worry. Talk is just a bunch of noise. As long as we both feel the same way..." Lana finishes his thought: "...that's all that matters." Lex turns. He kisses Lana. She looks incredibly hurt for a moment. "You okay?" Lex asks. Lana walks past him. Lex says it's just something that happened. Again? Lana turns, grabs Lex by the sides of his neck, and plants one on him. She moves her hands to the back of Lex's head, and they totally go at it. I've been against this since day one, but mostly because I didn't think it would generate one calorie of heat. But, hey, is it warm in here or just me? Lana breaks the kiss and runs off, leaving Lex alone by the fire. Lex, for once, actually looks happy.

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