Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 4 USERS: C
Head Of The Glass

Kent farm. Shardy gets into the CPS car. Lois warns Frank Colbert not to let the girl near glass. Frank Colbert says that he heard Lois the first time, and tells Lois to go get Shardy's belongings. Lois goes. The windows of the sedan start to shake. Shardy looks around, scared. There's a scary guy standing over by the barn. Lois screams at Shardy to get out of the car. Shardy ducks down in the vehicle. The glass explodes. Frank Colbert gets sharded. So does Lois. The scary guy, who caused the glass explosion, walks to the car. Lois, glass chunks in her back, says, "Hey!" as the guy tells Shardy to stay put. He drives the car off, but not before smashing into a part of the Kent fence. That's gonna take Clark several seconds to repair! The music is a bit dramatic as this guy, Glasshole, drives away with Shardy in the backseat.

Commercials. The Motorola SLVR. My phone is a little jealous.

Smallville Medical Center, daytime. A nurse is taking out a tray of bloody shards from Lois's back like it's a plate of sushi. Clark comes in to find Lois bent over, and almost falling out of her hospital gown. Lois says that she screwed up pretty badly losing Shardy on her watch. Clark comes around behind her, the better to stare at her fresh wounds, and blames himself for leaving the two of them alone. Lois tells Clark that if he'd been there, he would have been shredded beef. Strange look as Lois gets up. Clark averts his eyes like he can see her McGillicutty and it's embarrassing to him. But he's really reacting to her comment about shredded beef. Wow, Tom Welling, maybe you should have had someone else direct this scene. Lois thinks that Shardy will be fine. They issued an Amber Alert for her. Clark asks whether Lois got a good look at the guy. Lois describes him, adding that he's "good-looking in that psycho-killer kind of way." What! Is she doing! On this show?! Gah! Clark wonders who'd want to kidnap the girl. Lois says that, given her disposition, it has to be someone pretty desperate to be with her.

A sad-looking truck stop somewhere. Shardy is on a pay phone saying, "Please, Clark, pick up!" She keeps begging, as the phone keeps ringing. But Glasshole comes over, and hangs it up. He asks "Princess" why she's trying to get away from him. He tells her that he's her dad. He says it more than once. "What?!" she asks. He tells the girl that, all the years he was locked up, the thought of her is all that kept him going. He says that he'd do anything for her. The girl says that he killed Frank Colbert and Foster Mom. He did say he'd do anything. You gotta give him that. She thinks he killed her "real mommy," too. "Real Mommy didn't want me near you," says Glasshole. "She thought I was some monster." He tells her that he just wanted them to be together. Kryptonite affliction: keeping families apart since the '80s. Glasshole asks Shardy if she likes butterflies. That'll defuse a conversation about mom's murder, sure. From his pocket, he produces a purple glass sculpture he made in shop class. He says he made it for Shardy. She breaks it. With her mind. That took five years! He's not even that pissed. He just says he knows it's a big change, but that he wants to put their family together. He reassembles the butterfly with his mind. It's still kinda tacky. He grabs the girl by the arms and drags her off, telling her he's got a surprise. Shardy struggles. Glasshole drives them off in the car.

Daily Planet. Chloe has tracked down a photo of Glasshole and Shardy's mom. She tells Clark she thinks it's the guy. She found that he landed in Belle Reve twelve years ago with the ability to manipulate glass. Incarcerated, he did indeed become a glass blower. Chloe deduces that Shardy's meteor powers are second-generation. She says that Glasshole was in a stained-glass workshop when the meteor shower hit. Clark thinks out loud that Shardy never got to meet her dad, because he was in prison her whole life. Chloe reveals that the guy went to prison for using his powers to rob a jewelry store. He stole seven five-carat diamonds that were never recovered. Clark asks whether the guy just escaped. Chloe says that he was a model patient, and that the shrinks gave him a clean bill of health. They'll release you without having you give back the diamonds? Killer! Clark says that they have to find the guy. Chloe's not sure where to look. Clark asks where he lived before he was arrested. I refuse to believe that Chloe wouldn't have thought of that first. Chloe uses the AOL White Pages, instead of her extensive reporting tools, to look up an address from more than twelve years ago. Yeah, fuck you AOL Time Warner. You've stretched my suspension of disbelief like taffy and now it has broken. Chloe finds that the dude lived with his mother. She gives Clark the address. Notice that they don't show you the results screen because, in the real world, it did not find any.

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