Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Chloe Gets Freaky

Commercials. Oh, Target. You make everything so bright and colorful. Will you be my friend?

Bowling alley the next morning. Rather than rely on one of those fancy new "door locks," the double-door entrance is secured by a padlock and chain. Clark, of course, opens it with ease, and he and Chloe enter. All the lights are on even though the place is presumably closed. Chloe says she can't believe that there's not even a skidmark outside to go with the one in her pants from last night. Clark asks Chloe if she's sure the guy was "Krypto-powered." Chloe tells Clark about the whole knocking-over-one-pin thing. Clark says that would give someone a good reason to kidnap a bowling-alley employee. He asks if Lana saw the abduction. Chloe asks Clark about the "wedding of the century" coming up next week, and whether he'll be renting a DVD or a tux. Clark holds out his arms and asks what possible reason he'd have to watch them get married. Chloe says that it would send a message that he's moving on. Oh, there's none of that going on here. No moving on. That would be a completely false message to send. "To Lana," Chloe adds, about the recipient of Clark's hypothetical message. "To Lex." Clark will never move on from him. The lovin' was just too good. Chloe concludes that Clark would also be sending that message to himself. Clark blinks. Thinking hurts. Won't that create, like, a messaging feedback loop? Isn't that a paradox or something? "What does this guy look like?" asks Clark. You want to know what yourself looks like? All right...tall. Flannely. Hair that never looks the same on two different days. Pretty eyes and mouth. For some reason, Chloe starts to describe the bowling employee. She says he's Asian, about six feet tall, an earring in his left ear. "You mean like that guy?" Clark asks. Bowling for Concubine, holding a big coffee container, yells at them, asking what they're doing there, because the place is closed. Chloe asks what happened to him last night. That stops him in his tracks. BfC puts a palm to his head, swivels his head, and asks if he and Chloe hooked up the night before. "Uh, no," Chloe replies, telling him that he was thrown in the back of a van by men in black. Oh no! He got gang-bused! "Damn, I thought I drank a lot last night," says BfC. Clark asks if he's sure he didn't get thrown in the back of the van. (My wife mentions how cute BfC is, and says that you've got to hand it to the show for casting such good-looking people all the time.) BfC says that he doesn't remember anything, and just figured he blacked out. How romantic for whomever he might have hooked up with. Chloe frowns. BfC rationalizes that it was Saturday night and he cracked open a pint. Just a pint? He says he woke up in his own bed just like any other morning. Chloe does a double-frown and nods her head in amazement. What kind of debauchery is this?!

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