Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Clone Wars

Commercials. A local commercial is advocating Toys for Tots. That beats the time I spent Christmas at a strip club when everybody was pitching in to purchase tats for tits.

Daily Planet globe. I just noticed that they put Santa and reindeer around the globe. All right, you got me, show: that's pretty cute. Not so cute: Jimmy and Chloe, still stuck in the elevator, yelling for help. Jimmy's smashed finger is being held together with a napkin, it looks like. They give up, since nobody's listening. Jimmy sits in a heap. Chloe says that she doesn't think they're going to make it. Chloe says that she's not going to cart her baggage through the afterlife. She decides to tell Jimmy the truth. Before she does, she muses that she thought this confession would play out to a sad Kelly Clarkson song, not Muzak. Jimmy tries to get her to try to move things along, given that they're about to die and all. Chloe says that she didn't pull away from the relationship because of Jimmy. She says he was perfect. (Except for the whole eyefucking Kara thing, but I digress.) Chloe says that she pulled away because she's different: "I'm a meteor freak." She asks Jimmy for feedback. He says that if they're going out with no regrets...he leans forward and kisses her. There are now thirty seconds left on the bomb, which is complete bullshit because that whole scene took a lot longer than thirty seconds.

Clark and Lana are still at Chloe's desk. Nobody seems to mind that two non-employees are poking around, messing with Chloe's laptop and going through her stuff. Security! Lana tries to call Chloe, but it goes to voicemail. Lana pulls something up on a nearby computer: it's the message Lois was typing to Chloe. Clark glances at the elevator, which says it's still out of service. The camera spins around him, and the room grows bright as he uses his superhearing, and hears a ticking bomb. We see Clark fly, really fly through the elevator shaft. He pops up on (presumably) the right floor and runs at superspeed. He runs past a woman dropping some gifts, someone else decorating a tree, and countless other people not getting any real work done. Everyone is frozen. Clark pries open the elevator doors. The elevator was level with a floor the whole time. Clark sees Jimmy and Chloe kissing. He sees the explosive. We zip to the top of the building, where Clark throws the device. It explodes up in the sky, but causes no damage to the building.

Chloe and Jimmy stop kissing as the elevator dings. The doors have opened. A bunch of co-workers, including the mail lady, are staring. Jimmy smiles. Chloe looks embarrassed. They keep sitting there. The elevator door doesn't close.

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