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Clone Wars

Kent Farm. It's snowing. The house looks very pretty. Lana is in the barn, brushing one of the horses. Clark walks in. "Lana," he says. Lana goes to him and hugs him, saying she was worried. Lana asks whether Clark was in the Fortress the entire time. He tells her that time is so different there. Sometimes it drags for, like, two whole episodes. He didn't know how long he was gone. Lana asks whether he found Kara. "There was nothing I could do," he says. Clark says that he'll have to accept that she's gone and move on. "Kind of a tall order these days," says Lana. Huh? Clark says that he's back and Lana is here. That's all that matters. Only to the two of them. None of the rest of us gives even one tiny pebble shit. Lana says that, as much as she's missed him, being apart may have been good for them. In other words: get the fuck out, Clark. Don't let the stable door hit your super ass on the way out. Clark's face goes, "Huh?" Lana says that she's had time to think and to evaluate her priorities. Priority #1: Get the fuck off this show. She says that she's dropping her fixation on Lex and all of his projects. Clark, smiling a little slyly, says that he had time to think as well. It can take him about two weeks to formulate a coherent thought. He says he thinks that he knows a way for the two of them to get back on the same page. It involves a very large piece of paper. Clark wants to see all the research Lana has on Lex. "Well get him together," he says. Lana has no idea what to think of that. I guess we'll find out later.

Commercials. Mac vs. PC Claymation ad. I really can't resist these commercials.

The super-secret sliding doors of the Isis Foundation open to reveal Clark and Lana entering Lana's no-longer-so-secret Lex-watching lair. Lana has so decided to give up this crazy Lex pursuit that she took the time to put a welcoming Christmas tree in the Isis lobby. I see no signs that Lana is packing up and shutting this place down. Lana, grumpy, says that isn't exactly hot chocolate on the boardwalk. This is your stupid fake foundation, Lana. If you wanted hot chocolate, you should have had a dispenser installed. She asks what they're doing here. Clark morosely says, "Look what I drove you to do." It's all about you, huh, Clark? Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's all about Lana? And that she's just batshit crazy? As the lights go up, Lana asks whether this is some sort of a guilt trip. She grouses that she hasn't been watching Lex for weeks. It's been all reruns, anyway, except for the Lex-themed reality show, Project Cloneway. Clark says that it's time he faced what he did to Lana. "What you did?" she asks. Clark wanders around among the monitors. They're wrapped in plastic, yet they are still powered on. Even Lana's decorating is full of mixed messages. Clark mopes that he never let Lana open up about how much Lex hurt her. He expected her to move on, but she couldn't. He thinks that's why Lana hid her research. Clark says that he felt responsible for everything Lex did to her since she was protecting Clark. Lana can't follow this train of thought either. She says that Lex is the villain here, not Clark. Clark sighs, "That's what I'm saying." This conversation is going to fucking kill me, right here. Clark says that Lex needs to be put behind bars, and that Lana is the key. Does that make Lex the keyhole? Clark notices a folder nearby that reads, "Scion." It's the 2008 model brochure. Try not to get it all greasy. "Scion?" he asks. "Or what's left of it," says Lana. She takes some plastic off two of the computer monitors and opens up some video footage. She says she must have destroyed the vial when she wrecked Lex's lab. She says that before Clark showed up, Lex was talking about an alien invasion. Clark says that if it is alien technology, Lana didn't destroy it. Puny Earthling! Lana says that if Clark wants to partner up with her, he needs to see everything she uncovered about Project Scion. Mileage, emissions, colors, special leather seat options, everything! Clark, badly lit, smiles. It's not the goofy, amiable Clark smile we're used to.

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