Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Clone Wars

Artsy shot of the top of the Daily Planet building. It's snowing, and the globe hasn't frozen solid yet. Inside, Lois is dangling a Sharpie on the back of an envelope, creating dots that spell the words, "Bomb on you." You laid the bomb on me, girl. Before her hand moves to reveal the words, it looks like "Fuck you." Lois is leaning back in her chair trying to look casual as she dots the words. We see Chloe behind her. An older lady wearing a Santa hat enters the room, pushing a mail cart. "Any outgoing?" she asks Lois. I'm pretty outgoing. Want a date, old woman? I have lotion I can rub on you. It's menthol-scented. Lois hands over the envelope. The woman doesn't see the scary message on the back -- only the inter-department delivery side. Lois has sent the package on 12/07/07 to Chloe Sullivan, "Reportor." Maybe it's just funky handwriting, but it sure looks misspelled to me. Oh, Lois. You dumb shit. The mail lady rounds the corner, not seeming too pleased to be delivering a package three feet away. We see Chloe stand, putting on her red coat. "Come on, lady," Lois says under her breath. The woman hands Chloe the envelope as she's leaving. Lois exhales in relief. Chloe tells Lois that Clark is back in town. She's going to drop off her rewrite and go say hi. Lois opens up her cell phone and sees a text message: "Don't even think about it. KA-BOOM!" It's from Sprint. This is what happens if you consider switching to AT&T. Lois, pretending nothing's wrong, says, "Okay, cool." Chloe, sensing something's up, says that she'll send Lois's "warmest" to Clark. "Warmest" what? Isn't the warmest part of Lois's body already being given to Boy Editor? Lois says that she's busy prepping an interview. Chloe asks if she's all right. Lois says she's peachy. Chloe leaves. Close-up on Lois as way-too-dramatic music plays.

Lana and Clark are walking through a building with very little lighting. The fluorescents are flickering weakly. She tells Clark that Project Scion is probably more alive than they thought. Clark asks whether Lana found it. "Not so much an 'it' as a 'her,'" she tells him. Could you be a little bit creepier, please, Lana? She leads Clark into what looks like a medical research room. It's full of expensive-looking equipment with pretty lights. She says that a LuthorCorp employee named Casey Brock was found half-conscious in an alley. The woman is lying on a hospital bed in the room. Lana says that she was talking some random weird language and was suffering from toxic levels of metal poisoning. A blue light flashes on and off. Lana says that when she heard about this woman she had her "Isis contacts" transfer the woman here. So Lana kidnapped her? Or had her staff do it? The staff that she shouldn't really have because she's given up her pursuit of Lex? You sure make a lot of sense there, Lana. Clark says that this is pretty extreme. That's one word for it. Here's two more: fucking stupid. Lana says that she had to keep the woman away from other patients so they wouldn't be exposed to what was in her bloodstream. Lana says that the metal content in Casey's body dropped dramatically since the day before. Lana says that her "team" couldn't find much of any traces of iron, zinc or magnesium in the woman's body. Clark says that whatever attacked the woman harvested her natural minerals, and then moved on. She was attacked by a Flintstones Chewable. The woman's eyes are open, and she's muttering some words. Lana doesn't know what she's saying. Clark listens. He says she's speaking Kryptonian. Dun dun DUUUUUN! Clark starts writing down symbols. She's saying, "Please don't forget me during the hiatus!"

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