Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Clone Wars

Daily Planet. Chloe gets into the elevator. Jimmy, not seeing Chloe, sticks his hand in to stop the elevator before the doors close. "Jimmy!" says Chloe. Jimmy decides he'll grab the next elevator. Chloe says that there's plenty of room. Jimmy stammers that he's going the other direction. Except that they're in the basement. Jimmy gives up the charade and gets in the elevator, looking really uncomfortable. The doors close. They try to make small talk: Jimmy asks if Chloe is going to the Christmas party. She says that she's pulling a Scrooge and staying home. She heard someone from HR is bringing mistletoe. Wouldn't someone from Human Resources be the last person to bring an object that makes people kiss in a work environment? I'm beginning to think The Daily Planet is being run by a bunch of half-witted orangutans. Jimmy says that he's all about "the amusement factor." He adds that there was mistletoe last year and it didn't seem to stop Chloe. She says that was different; she already had her sights set on-- She stops herself before saying it was Jimmy, then says it anyway. Chloe notices the message on the envelope. She shows it for Jimmy without saying anything. Just then, the lights flicker and the elevator stops. The holiday Muzak continues to play, creepily. Jimmy messes with the elevator buttons. "We're stuck," he eventually says. "With a bomb," Chloe adds. And with sexual tension. Could it be any worse?

Commercials. Did the inventor of body spray ever think that it would become so synonymous with "horny douchebag"?

Newsroom. Lois rounds a corner, walking right toward us, and I'm temporarily blinded by her shiny gold top. Yes, yes, I know: metallics are in this year. That doesn't mean I have to like it. Lois notices that there's a sign on an elevator entrance that reads, "Out of service." There are some helpful yellow cones blocking the door as well. Is somebody doing something to try to get Jimmy and Chloe out of there, at least? Besides putting up cones? Lois stares at the elevator as someone behind her says she's much cuter in person. Well, I would hope so. Lois turns and --- ACK! This guy looks haggard! Or rather he looks like a character in a high-school drama production where they run white chalk through your hair and draw on wrinkles to make you look older. It's Adrian. He steps forward, telling Lois that if she draws attention to herself, he'll decorate the elevator with her cousin. In his hands, he's holding a very fake-looking explosion mini-dildo with a glowing green ring. Maybe it's made by Microsoft and he'll get a red ring of death that'll foil his plans. "Where's my story?" he asks. Don't you mean your dictated monologue? Lois tries to think fast on her feet: "Clark's dog ate it!"

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Smallville

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