Al: You WILL love her! Right now! Eat it, Smallville fans!
Miles: Eat the Lana sausage! LOVE HER!
I think I'm going to throw up. Gah. Lana smiles and almost cries. "She will be loved! She will be loved!"
Al: Eat the pink, bitches! EEEEAAAAT IT!
Miles: Shove it, and stick it, and push it down your mouth! You LOVE her! She WILL be loved!
Maroon 5 singer: On behalf of my band, I'd really like to apologize for this. They told us this was going to be on Jack & Bobby. They fucked us, guys. Sorry.
Lana and Jason kiss. A lot. The song continues to drone, right to blackout. Remember those pieces of my soul the show was taking last week? I think it's all gone.
Next week: Kryp/Tuck. I like to think I'd have thought of that joke first if I'd had the opportunity.