Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Chloe Lives!

Choppers! Clark and Lois see a loud helicopter approach out of nowhere. It must be all that loud city noise that masked the sound of the approaching craft. The helicopter turns, and two guys rappel from it, even though there's enough clear area and space for the helicopter to have landed. It just looks cooler this way, I guess. The guys are like Army Ninjas or some damn thing. They're masked, and look armed. Clark yells, "Run!" Lois runs. The helicopter goes after her. Clark fistfights with one of the soldiers. He knocks the gun out of the dude's hand and throws him thirty feet, onto the charred car. Lois, meanwhile, runs daintily down the hill. Wheee! Helicopter POV shot that is indeed cribbed from North by Northwest, which will be given a nonsensical shout-out later. How many people Clark's or Lois's age have actually seen that movie? Lois does a little flip/roll down the hill. She makes an ugly face, and then runs some more. Clark apparently stopped to watch all of this; he then fights another guy who's wielding a wicked electricity-spitting rifle. Clark lightly knocks the guy onto some breakaway wood planks, and that's apparently enough to stop a highly trained U.S. military guy in his tracks. The helicopter keeps pursuing Lois, now through some stalks of corn. We keep seeing a rainbow overhead, which I guess is nice if you're into that sort of thing. More running. Lois steps into a clearing so that she can be spotted better. Another trooper drops down. Clark superzips over in plain view, but nobody cares. Lois does some karate chops on the trooper. Clark throws some eyejaculate fireballs at the middle of the helicopter. It begins to glow orange. Karate CHOP! from Lois. The helicopter doesn't blow up. Instead, it begins to spin and go down. More karate. Lois is holding her own. She flips the guy she's fighting. The helicopter makes a safe landing. Lois knocks her guy again and gives him a silly martial-arts look. Clark ambles over. Lois tells him not to just stand there. She pulls him by the arm, and they run down the middle of the cornfield.

Best part of the entire episode: a crusty guy in fatigues steps out of the helicopter. He's got a black beret. He's chewing on a cigar bigger than a baby. He takes off his glasses. It's Michael Ironside! I LOVE HIM! A trooper tells IRONSIDE! that they lost two kids in the middle of an open clearing. "Find them," IRONSIDE! says. I'm surprised IRONSIDE! doesn't just shoot the guy for botching his job. The trooper goes off to not really do much of anything after this. IRONSIDE! is content know, just be IRONSIDE!

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