Opening credits. Still no Chloe.
Commercials. Xbox presents Fable: "That's cool. We didn't think you had a life anyway."
Kent home. We're in the little-seen Kent bathroom, which actually has a very nice faux-finish paint job I covet. Clark is in the shower. It's not a see-through curtain, exactly, but we can make out his silhouette. Lois walks in without knocking. Her hair is wet, and she's wearing a big red plaid shirt. She dries her hair in the mirror and starts talking, making Clark jump in the shower. "Nothing like a little North by Northwest action to get the blood pumping, huh?" she asks. Jaunty little music plays through the scene. Clark peeks over the curtain to look at Lois's ass. She's not wearing any pants. "We usually take turns in the bathroom!" Clark says. "Don’t start with me, Smallville," she says. "You're the one taking the marathon shower." Yes, let's think about that, shall we? If Clark can do everything else so fast, why can't he shower quickly? What's he doing in there, exactly, that takes so long? I think Clark's been going a little Lester Burnham on us. Lois, brushing her hair, says that her delicate sensibilities weren't offended the first time she saw "Clark Jr." Hee. That was a good one. Clark is really not enjoying this one bit. Poor guy. Clark tells Lois that his parents weren't exactly part of the Woodstock movement. For one thing, they were about twenty years too young for that. Clark mentions the last time he was caught in a co-ed situation. Lois plays with her wet hair and seems pleased that the "Eagle Scout" has a few secrets "in his closet." Man, Lois, if you only knew about this guy's closet. Clark wraps a towel around his lower self and scoots out of the shower. "That's my shirt!" he says when he gets out. Lois says it's the only clean one she could find. Clark tries to move past her, but she gets in his way. She asks him to keep that morning's military exercise a secret. As flirty as she's been, she doesn't really seem to be trying to get any under-the-towel action going with Clark. Clark finally does get past her and moves toward the bathroom door while trying to say sarcastically that he's not the one who talks a lot and would reveal their secret. It doesn't really come across that sharply. Clark opens the door. MamaKent! She's got fresh towels. Clark: "Mom. You're home." MamaKent confirms this with a nod. "Hi, Mrs. Kent," says Lois, popping up over Clark's bare shoulder. MamaKent's jaw drops. Lois smiles like the Cheshire Cat while Clark takes the road less smooth. Maybe I just didn't date enough before I committed, but I never met any girls who went out of their way to make my mom think they were rampaging sluts.