Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Chloe Lives!

Someone walks in. It's Clark, wearing what looks like the same shirt Lois had on earlier. Why does Clark get to walk in and interrupt Lex's very important meeting? Lex asks the agent to excuse them. The agent leaves the room by some back exit. "Does this mean you're talking to me again?" Lex asks after he turns off the airplane projection. Dickishly, Clark says, "Only because I don't have a choice." Lex says he'll have to accept being relegated from friend to last resort. Lex should totally kick Clark's ass out of his house. And release the hounds on him. Lex takes it instead as a chance to prove himself. I really hate Clark right now. "Good," Clark says. "I want you to help find Chloe." Lex says that raising someone from the dead is raising the bar a little high. Why? Your dad did it. Clark says that Chloe's not in her grave. Lex looks away. Clark guesses that Lex had investigators all over that area. He asks what they found. Lex says he pulled some strings so that the FBI wouldn't release all the morbid details. Lex says that the explosion blew out an entire acre, and that the reason the coffin is empty is that there wasn't anything of Chloe left. Ouch. The wind has been sucked out of Clark's sails. But that's about it. Clark looks over to Lex's desk and sees a crappy American cigar in the ashtray. IRONSIDE! Also, freshly sliced lemons, for whatever reason. Clark moves his eyes to Lex. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Clark says telepathically to Lex. Are there any more cigars around? It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. "I'm sorry, Clark," Lex says. No cigar for you. Clark leaves without saying another word. Lex watches Clark leave. Mmmm, assy.

Here's where I got a little freaked out. Papa Luthor is taking a shower in prison, which is not always the best move, as we all know. The music that's playing is a version of the Flower Duet from the opera Lakmé, music I coincidentally use in a sketch where I dress up as a head lice (louse? ["yes" -- Wing Chun]) with tights, antennae, and several extra arms. That music is completely ingrained in my head. I may have to get up and dance here in a minute. Anyway, Papa Luthor is taking a hot steamy shower in a very wide-open area. He's getting Zestfully clean. We almost see his Li'l Bastard as the camera comes down from overhead. A guard turns away as Papa Luthor tries to let him peek at the pecker. Papa Luthor turns in slow motion. The music skips clumsily as the editing tries to get to a later part in the song. The guard is gone. Someone comes up from behind Papa Luthor and stabs him in the side. Now, get this. Papa Luthor is showering. The water is still on. But he's wearing a white towel. Is he a Never-Nude or something? Oh, wait, my bad. It's the guy stabbing Papa Luthor, a tough guy with tattoos, wearing the towel. The guy takes off. Papa Luthor gasps like a fish on the ground. He touches the nasty slit on his torso. The music finishes off as Papa Luthor continues gasping and bleeding in slow motion in the wet floor. And for this scene, we owe Oz a huge debt of gratitude. However: "That's a wussy stab," my wife says. We're Mexican-American. We know from stabbing.

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