Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B+ | 1 USERS: A-
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Children of the Carnage

A snazzy red convertible speeds down the road, toward a scenic range of misty mountains. Clark is at the wheel and Lois sits beside him. After their mutual revelations last week, a few things have suddenly started to become very clear to Lois. She names a few incidents of the past for Clark. "Our Twilight Zone acid trip to the phantom prison," she recalls. "That place was...?" She trails off, letting Clark finish with "Kryptonian" as confirmation. She nods and studies his profile while he drives. She also mentions the "horny toad" that crashed Chloe and Jimmy's wedding, which Clark also admits was Kryptonian. What about that spaceship she found? "Also Kryptonian," Clark says, "but that wasn't mine, it was my cousin's." He gives her a lambish look. (It's not quite sheepish yet.) She studies him some more and then apologizes for all the questions. "It's just not every week that a girl learns her boyfriend's an--" "Alien?" Clark finishes with a goofy smile. He wants to be sure she's okay with that. She gets googly eyed and likens it to dating a god... or Bono. Clark seems quite pleased with those comparisons. They grin at each as they drive past lush, green mountains. Ah, Kansas. What hidden geographical treasures do you hold?

Lois is glad they're out on a story where Cat can't snoop. Clark looks slightly uncomfortable and says, "It's lucky Tess sent us out here to cover the cherry festival." Lois gives him a suspicious look. "Clark Kent doesn't believe in luck," she says. Are you kidding? Luck saves his ass all the time! He damn well better believe in it. She presses him and he admits he got them on this assignment because he didn't want Lois in the middle of the anti-hero protest that's going in in Metropolis. Lois is a bit miffed because it should have been her story, but Clark was trying to protect her. She teases him for treating her like a damsel in distress. "Clark, I love that an intergalactic powerhouse wants to protect me," she says, "but this Earth girl can take care of herself." Except for when you get kidnapped practically every other week.

At this point, the universe decides to prove her wrong and their car suddenly hits something in the road. Clark pulls off to the side of a road that stretches for miles in either direction with nary another soul in sight. They get out and have a look at the car. "Two flats and only one spare," Lois says. "Looks like a job for... AAA." The Superman theme tootles quietly at the almost-reference. Unfortunately for our intrepid reporters, there's no cellphone signal so they can't call for help. Here's the point at which he should have zipped off with the phone to some more populous area with a signal, or to a tire shop. Or he could just pick up Lois and the car and whoosh all of their asses down the road. Instead, he replaces one of the busted tires with the spare, using his own hands as a carjack while Lois giggles. "Oh, praise the Lord!" a girlish voice says behind them. "You're okay!" They turn and see a little girl running up to them from a horse-drawn buggy parked a few yards away. She's wearing a kapp to cover her hair and a dress she borrowed from Laura Ingalls Wilder. Clark asks if there's a mechanic nearby and the little girl helpfully tells him to go up the road a bit. Clark invites Lois to come with him, but Lois decides to give him a hard time, calling herself a "delicate little flower" that can't withstand the heat. She decides to stay with the girl, who politely introduces herself as "Charlotte, ma'am" and offers Lois some lemonade. "Ah, lovely!" Lois says with too much enthusiasm. "So we will have a big glass as we damsels in distress wait for Clark to come rescue us." She turns to Clark with a big grin. When Charlotte flits off to fetch the lemonade, Clark warns Lois that she's in the middle of nowhere. Lois scoffs at the idea she might be in any danger. Clark reluctantly trudges down the road, busted tire in hand.

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Smallville

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