Rickety projector. Things get really nasty from here on in. You've been warned. We hear the Voice of Narration talk about the birds and the bees of nature while we pan across and see sweaty Chloe and SweatLana leaning toward each other. Okay, now it's an Aerosmith video. Chloe's chloeavage is totally hanging out, by the way. Not that I was looking. We cut jarringly to a lion mounting another lion. Dude, they're totally having sex! I really didn't think you could show mammals having sex like that on TV, except on nature shows or on dirty, the-characters-are-having-sex montages in sleazy comedies. Clark isn't interested in mammals. Too hairy. He likes his sex objects bald, thank you very much. He does a little turn around and watches the teach, who is sticking her chest out as she leans back and has her little dress flapping in the air of the fan. The camera pans down to her glistening legs as she raises one of them and rubs it, very Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Clark is sweating. He's impervious to all forms of extreme heat and cold, but he's sweating from a little August weather? Of course. Teacher of the Rear notices Clark and points toward the screen. If her lips were any poutier, they'd be in the next room. Chloe caught this whole exchange. She smiles in disbelief then scoffs loudly. Ooh, antelopes! Clark turns around again as the narrator gets all hot and steamy about pheromones and glands. That reminds me of how my friend Mical and I are always saying there's a "vas deferens" between two unrelated things. Wow. Totally gratuitous shot of Teacher of the Queer's chest as sweat runs down from her neck. I, um...I gotta...I'll be right back. (Five minutes later.) Okay! How's everyone doing? Still with me? Good. So, anyway, this teacher -- who is totally not as attractive as she seemed only minutes ago -- is still sweating. Because I haven't unpaused yet. When I do, the camera zooms in on Clark's eyes, which seem to have taken on a yellow pupil color. And then...oh, man, I need a new paragraph if I'm going to deal with this....

Clark shoots clear, ejaculate-looking beams from his eyes. Seriously. And they hit the screen, which is showing a bunch of sperms doing the watery mambo around a fertilized egg. This is such a Spider-Man moment. Ew! More beams, only they come out in liquidy spurts. They hit the screen, which catches fire because...you know, sperm is kinda warm, if you didn't know. In Clark's case, it's positively molten. Nobody seems to have noticed that these beams originated from Clark. The students all get up and run as the screen is on fire. The teacher tells everyone to walk, not run, and to leave their books. Clark gets up last. He looks at the screen, perplexed. You're officially a Superman, now Clark.