The Barnness of Shameitude. Bo asks what Clark is doing sulking. Our little pornopyro says he's not going to school. Still no alt-crap rock music since the beginning of the show. Things are looking up. Clark tells Bo about the Talon. He says that the fire department said the fire looked suspicious. Clark is freaking out. He's worried he might have hurt Lana. Bo, for once, isn't overreacting. He puts his hands on his son's shoulders and neck. He says he thinks he has an idea of what's triggering this thing. Poontang?

Cut to outside. Clark drives a big post into the ground; the post holds up a scarecrow, complete with jeans and a shirt. That new mix of Elvis's "A Little Less Conversation" plays. Bo tells Clark to practice. Clark says he thought they were trying to stop the fires. "Well, in order to find the off switch, first we need to find the on switch, right?" Bo says. That was a little platitude he picked up from the local electricians' union. Bo stands right next to Clark and tells him to think about what he thought when the first fire happened. Ew, Bo is totally leaning on Clark and they're touching. Clark starts to say it might be easier if he were... "Alone," Bo finishes, and agrees. Heh. Bo is having way too much fun with this. Clark focuses on the scarecrow. Did it really need a hat and kerchief? Zoom in on Clark. "Lana," Clark says. He sets the scarecrow on fire. Clark smiles and looks proud. Bo looks over and laughs, too. Did I mention that Bo is disturbingly interested in this?

Jiffy Pop! Clark is making that popcorn fly inside the tinfoil container. "Five scarecrows, two water barrels, and our mailbox later..." Bo says. Clark says that once he figured out how to trigger the fires, he could do it without thinking about...sex. Aw, no fun. The popcorn suddenly explodes in a burst of orgasmic Orville Redenbachianism. "You sure about that, son?" Bo says. Man, this is the silliest episode ever. Clark says that the next time he has a date (when?), he'll be able to go without setting his date on fire. Suddenly, Clark is Mr. Confident. MamaKent still looks worried. Maybe she's worried Clark will have an Oedipal dream and she'll end up a charcoal briquette.