Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Feelin' Hot, Hot, Hot!

Lex hits the floor. Bo comes around the desk to pump even more lead. Clark is there to pull the gun back. "Dad you can't do this!" he cries. In the melee, Bo gets slammed against a bookshelf and crumples to the floor like a hick-house flower. Lex goes over toward his wife; as he does, she picks up a decanter and slams it on his back. Ouchie! Then she picks up a fireplace lighter and sets Lex ablaze. The flames! Lex's psyche made manifest! Lex gets up and starts screaming. Note this, because any time we ever see Lex without a shirt on, I'll bet there won't be a burn mark or scratch on him, even though he's in flames for an awfully long time. Instead of helping Lex, Clark Duraflames a doorknob so that Teacher of the Fear doesn't escape. She grabs for the door and screams in pain. And doesn't let go of it. Clark grabs a red curtain and throws it onto Lex, all cape-like. Lex moans as Clark rolls him around. Clark turns Lex over and pats his chest. Clark smiles. Oh yeah. Lex gives Clark a spent look. Thus ends the flaming, the itching, the burning. This scene was brought to you by Tuck's Medicated Pads.

Kent kitchen. MamaKent takes two tins of muffins out of the oven. Clark runs into the pan and holds onto it -- without getting burned, of course. He sets it on the table. MamaKent says it's good to have him back. Clark says it's better than eating jail food. Just then, Bo walks in and says he just got off the phone with the police. He grabs for a muffin, but it's hot and he has to drop it. This episode has lots of nice little smart moments like that -- much more so than last week's IQ-dropper. Bo says that the arson charges have been dropped, and that they've probably (yeah, right) seen the last of Desiree Atkins. Clark asks about his daring jail escape. Because of his age and the fact that he saved Lex, they're going to drop the charges. Ah yes. Smallville due process. "We're very lucky this time," Bo says. MamaKent asks whether Lex said anything about what happened. Bo says that he and Lex just want to put it behind them. No mention made of Bo getting his tonsils on with Pheromona. Bo asks MamaKent out to dinner. He'll even spring for an onion Awesome Blossom.

The Barnness of Epiloguitude. Clark is reading Fahrenheit 451 on a hammock. Lex comes up. Ooh, it just got hotter. Clark asks Lex how he's feeling. "Like I'm waking up from a bad dream," Lex says. Lex fills in the plot blanks. He's getting an annulment. He'll be more careful in the future, blah blah blah shattered dreamcakes. Lex says he won't make the same mistake again. Clark tells Lex that he doesn't think having passion is a bad thing. Right now. In the barn. Alone. Lex says that passion for life, work, and friends is great. But love? As the French say, "It is a shit mine upon which the sneaker of life must inevitably step." Lex says he should take a page out of Clark's book. Superfudge? Lex notes that Clark doesn't go for it with Lana, even though Jocko is gone. Clark says that he really wants to. Clark says that Lana needs to work out her feelings. And finish up those acting lessons, which are finally starting to pay dividends. "I can wait," Clark says. Lex tells Clark not to wait too long. He pats him on the shoulder on his way out. Clark hates to see Lex leave, but he loves to watch Lex go.

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