Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C+ | 695 USERS: C+
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The Dread Zone

Later that day, apparently. L'il Dead Zone comes out of the front entrance of the school, followed by one Mr. Clark Kent. Oh, I've seen this guy. He rescues people and sleeps with young billionaires. Clark tells him his "totally overwhelmed look" gave him away. Clark introduces himself as L'il Dead Zone's mentor. Lemme get this straight. Clark can barely keep it together to stay in school -- what with getting arrested, almost running over Chloe and whatnot -- but he's been chosen to mentor the new kid? Where's Principal Asskick to throw down some discipline when we need it? Clark extends his hand for a shake, but L'il Dead Zone doesn't take it. Clark says they were supposed to meet earlier, and asks if something's wrong. L'il Dead Zone says he's trying to get used to so many people. The kid was home-schooled up to now. Clark offers to be a "lifeline." Clark pulls out a map to show L'ilDZ the lay of the land. L'ilDZ cuts Clark off, and asks if he can check with his dad first. His dad -- who looks a little like Kevin Spacey -- has just gotten out of his truck and waves to them. He goes over to his dad, and the two of them look like they just ate a box of grim cookies. Dead Zone Dad asks if it happened again. He tells his son that he didn't think this whole "going to school" thing was such a hot idea. He thinks it's a mistake.

Just then, L'il Dead Zone sees the coach walking across the front of the school, and says to himself, "No, not today." A speeding car has just rounded a corner and is making a beeline for Nearly Dead Coach. "Don't be today," L'il Dead Zone says, as his dad tries to stop him from interfering. The coach, looking sad, walks out onto the road. He puts his arms out as the car approaches. Clark, in front of everyone, superzips to the road and tackles the coach out of the way. No one seems to notice or care. Clark asks the tackled coach if he's all right. "Why did you stop me?" the coach yells. Go do ten laps, Clark! The coach wails, "I just wanted to be with my little girl!" He says that his daughter is dead, and it's his fault. So...this episode is going to be lots of laughs, right? Right? L'il Dead Zone rushes over. He and Clark exchange a "What the fuck?" look. Indeed. Opening credits.

Smallville

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