Smallville

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Magic: The Blathering

Theater marquee. It reads: "Zatanna The Mistress of Magic Tonight." Tomorrow, she's the Empress of Curly Fries at Arby's. As they arrive at the theater, Chloe-Lumped-In-With-Lois says she's not exactly hiding out. Clark wonders why he didn't pick up on this whole situation sooner. Because... you're a dumbass? Nobody was surprised but you. She tries the doors, but they're locked. She tells Clark that the day has been illuminating. Clark tries to explain what he said about Jimmy. She says it's fine, that Clark is nice to everyone. She brings up the book he gave her and says it was a nice callback. Clark says he thought it would bring her back to a time when things were -- "Weird and unexplained?" she finishes. She thinks Clark might miss it. Clark has a rare moment of clarity. He says that things are so weird now, every day, that weird has become normal. Clark says he loves what he's doing at the paper, but sometimes wishes he could just be a normal reporter. He opens the door for her. She asks Clark not to stick to his day job for now. They enter the theater as we pan over to Zatanna's sexy pin-up poster outside the theater.

Inside, in a dressing room, Zatanna is looking at a picture of herself as a young girl with her dad, who looks like a normal, handsome dude, not some crazy wizard from the Nether-Realm. The old photo is next to an old handbill of the two of them in costume. She tells her father it won't be much longer. "Much longer for what?" Clark asks. He's standing behind Zatanna with Chloe-Mixed-With-A-Pinch-Of-Lois. She turns and asks if they've met. Chloe brings up the enchanted cupcake and Zatanna places her instantly. Clark asks her to reverse the curse. Use your purse, nurse. Zatanna is a bit offended by the use of the word "curse." She says she granted a wish. Chloe asks why she'd wish herself into this. I was wondering that myself. "I don't write the magics, honey, I just use them," Zatanna says. That should be the name of her spinoff show. Zatanna says it may not be her deepest desire, but it was what Chloe wanted at that moment. Chloe-Put-Upon-Lois explains that she may have been a little jealous of Lois, but she didn't literally want her life. Zatanna says it'll wear off as soon as Chloe doesn't want it anymore. "Fine. I don't want it," Chloe/Lois over-enunciates. Zatanna's not buying it, since nothing happens. Clark brings up the Latin-yelling guy from the antique shop. He asks if Zatanna thinks the guy wanted to end up crazy. Zatanna says the guy may have wanted a better understanding of dead languages, and she wanted her father's book. She calls it a fair trade. Clark asks what the guy meant when he said the book would bring death. She avoids Clark's gaze when she says some people are a little superstitious. Clark suggests that she's using people. Zatanna says she just gives people what they want. She says everyone has something they hope for or wish they could change. Even Clark. Oh man, don't even get me started. She wonders what Clark's little wish would be. Her eyes flash blue. Chloe pulls on Clark's shoulder. We hear stardust sounds and Zatanna is gone. Chloe asks is Clark is all right. She can't figure out what's different. As they walk out of the building, Chloe says that she forgot magic affects Clark like everybody else. She asks if he's sure he's all right. He tells "Lois" he's fine. Uh-oh. Suddenly, a woman is having her purse stolen on the street. [In broad daylight, surrounded by people. What is this, Gotham? - Z] Chloe asks if Clark is going to do anything. He looks on. "You're absolutely right, Lois," he says. Heroically, he pulls out his phone and calls 911. My hero!

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