Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B | 1353 USERS: B-
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Back To School Special

Meanwhile, at Smallville High... They've dug out that old "Fly to Victory!" banner from the early days. Ominous music plays us into the counselor's office. The counselor, a frazzled-looking woman, is going through a stack of paperwork and talking to herself. "I've wasted a decade," she practically spits, "picking up the pieces from meteor-mutant students. 'How do I get into college with a criminal record?' You can't, freak!" She continues complaining to herself about listening to their stories for ten years. No matter how crazy they are, she says, they always mention Clark Kent. As the camera pulls back, we see that she hasn't been talking to herself at all. Rather, she's been chatting it up with a tiny voodoo doll of Clark that's perched on her desk. You know, Ms. Counselor, maybe you should consider the fact that you're the crazy one. Just something to think about. She snatches the doll off her desk. "So nice of you to come back for the reunion," she says to it. "Save me a trip!" She picks up a letter opener with promises of making him pay. She moves to stab the wee Clark doll so vigorously that the papers fly off her desk. Everything freezes. A man in black walks into the room, slipping past the frozen torrent of paperwork. He comes around behind Lady Crazypants. Yay, it's James Marsters back as Brainiac! He aims a finger at the counselor's head; it morphs into metal and jabs into her temple. "It's time to move on from the past," he says. "Leave Clark Kent to me." Somebody save her!

Smallville

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