...Clark, looking supremely bored, sitting on a golden throne with a crown perched atop his head. The festivities have moved to the auditorium, where everyone cheers for their homecoming king. Lois sits in another throne beside him, waving to her subjects. "Now this is the homecoming I'm talking about," she says. "Thank God you squeaked out that state championship in your senior year." Swinging jazz music plays, because these people graduated in 1949 or something. Everyone cheers. Clark looks like he would rather swallow a Kryptonite pill. As he looks over the crowd, he spies Bug Man, who is giving him quite the exaggerated menacing glare. There's a sound like cicadas humping. Balloons fall from the ceiling and then freeze in midair. Everyone is frozen. Clark is mildly puzzled by this turn of events, so he takes off his crown and wades into the crowd to investigate. Brainiac saunters in through the door. "My sincere apologies," he says, "for interrupting this festive trip down memory lane." Clark tells him to leave everyone else alone. "Oh, don't worry, I'm only here for you," Brainiac assures him. Clark, to his credit, doesn't try to just eye-blast him on the spot, but instead listens to what the guy has to say. "I wanted to slow things down, make sure you can soak in this special moment," he says. Clark's not a quick learner, so make sure you slow things way, way down. "This is the moment your life changes forever," Brainiac tells him. He puts a hand on Clark's shoulder and teleports the both of them away from the reunion. The festivities resume at their normal pace. Lois sees that Clark's throne is suddenly empty. No one else seems to notice, though. That's what a high school education gets you nowadays.













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