Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
I'm Your Firestarter!

Clark breaks and enters yet again, this time into Trevor's garage. Clark Bar calls out that he's there to talk, but Trevor tells him to go away. He's sitting in a corner surrounded by fire extinguishers. I smell something burning, all right, and I think it's cheese. "Once he gets angry..." Trevor begins. Boo hoo story about The Coach riding him all the time. He shows Clark his burnt arm. There are finger marks where he was burned. It is revealed that Wonder Coach did give him the cheat-test. Big surprise there. "I can help," Clark tells Trevor. Trevor is dubious. You know, that burn doesn't even look like a burn. It looks like somebody smeared Smuckers Raspberry Preserves on his arm.

The awfully named Sweat Box. Clark confronts Wonder Coach about his hotheadedness. "Why aren't you suiting up?" Coach asks. Clark tells him that he's not going out on the field, and neither is Wonder Coach. "I don't know what your problem is, but you do not want to tick me off," Coach says, and as he says it, the kryptonite steam rocks flare up. Clark starts to look nauseous and his hand becomes all wrinkly and mottled. "I saw what you did to Trevor's arm!" Clark moans. "Trevor should have kept his mouth shut!" Coach yells back. So now it's a parable about wife beating? Coach takes out his aggressions by punching Clark in the stomach, throwing him against the wall, and leaving him to die on the sauna floor. Kryptonite rocks are knocked over and spill all over the floor. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a game to win," Coach says. He's not much of a supervillain, is he? Clark lies there in pain. Coach locks the door behind him. We go to commercial as Clark looks hopelessly at the green stones.

Football field. The game is going just as MamaKent and Bo Duke arrive. MamaKent calls Chloe "Smallville's resident cynic." They all ask each other if they've seen Clark. Nobody has.

We go back to the Sweat Box, where Clark is still twisting and moaning. He picks up a rock, although his hand seems to look just fine, and tries throwing it at the small sauna window.

Back on the field, Bo Duke goes up to Pete, who is warming the bench, and asks if he's seen Clark. Wonder Coach hears him and goes over. Coach tells Bo Duke he's not allowed on the field. And that if he's looking for Clark, they need him on the field: "Guess he doesn't know what it takes to be a winner." Now, Coach, that's just mean. Chloe looks on suspiciously. When Bo comes back, Chloe tells him she thinks the Coach is lying. They both go off to look for Clark. Coach sees what's going on, and follows them, telling his second-in-command to call the game. Way to protect your legacy.

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