Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
I'm Your Firestarter!

School o' Fire. Clark and Bo Duke are walking out of the school, again with free access as firefighters just stand around. It's hours later. The game is over. Were they inside this whole time, inhaling smoke? Bo says he's sorry Clark didn't get to play. No, he's not! Clark asks whether Bo Duke was there to make sure Clark didn't hurt anyone. "I was here to support my son," Bo says. Does he ever take off that brown jacket, even when there's fire around? Bo and Clark make up and say they're both sorry. They walk off, Bo's arm on Clark's shoulder. Aw. Bonding.

Back on the field -- which has retained no signs of flamage -- Clark is just walking along. Coincidentally, Lana comes up behind him. "Peaceful, isn't it?" she asks. Clark asks why she isn't working. She says she was laid off. Basically for being a dumb-ass. Lana says that Aunt Nell told her she should reconsider cheerleading. "I heard about the coach. Pretty weird," Lana says. That's all you have to say about a man bursting into flames inside the school? She should be principal someday. Clark mentions that the coach won his 200th game without even seeing it. Lana asks whether Clark plans to play the next year. Clark says his granddad and father both played, and he wants to break the vicious cycle. Don't you hate it when shows end by repeating lines from earlier in the show, only another character says them instead? There's probably a formula for doing that. Lana asks why Clark is quitting. He says he got on the field and realized his reason for playing was gone. Significant Look Exchanged. "Who said life was fair?" Clark asks. Yeah, some of us didn't get superpowers. "Are you gonna be okay?" Lana asks. "Sometimes I just wanna scream," Clark Bar answers. "Why don't we?" Lana says. Oh, how delicious! Primal-scream therapy! Clark asks if she's serious. She is, God help us. Clark counts to three. They both raise their arms and scream. The camera, of course, seizes the opportunity and cranes way up to the sky, looking down on them. It is at this moment that the entire Earth should crack and blow up from the force of Clark's scream, but of course this is the Dawson's Creek portion of the show, not the Roswell portion. We black out on two screaming pretty people.

Next week: Cool X-Ray Vision! And Lex is holding yet another dangerous phallic object -- this time it's a gun.

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