Smallville
Hothead

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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I'm Your Firestarter!

Inside the school, Clark and Pete hit the snack machine, and Wonder Coach approaches them. He compliments Clark on his lack of technique, but stunning display of power. Coach asks why Clark isn't on the team. "My dad needs me on the farm," Clark lamely explains. "Well, your school needs you on the field!" Coach retorts. "We're short players." Yet from what I can tell, they all look to be of average height. Clark says that his dad is stubborn. Coach reminisces about Bo Duke and how he had a lot of God-given talent. "It's in your genes, Clark," Coach tells the boy. Clark counters, "I'm adopted." Whups. Pete's highly amused. Coach starts getting riled up, saying that he's seen Clark staring at the football pictures of his dad in the trophy case. Coach backhandedly compliments Pete while he's at it: "He doesn't have a lick of natural talent, but he's got a truckload of heart." Truckloads of heart? Licks of talent? Ew. Coach calls Jocko Whitney over and asks how Clark would do on the field. Lana is in tow, giving Clark the sweeteyes. "Hi, Clark," she says dreamily. How does Jocko not notice that everyone in town wants his girl and that she doesn't seem too resistant to the idea? "Might do all right," Jocko says, noncommittally. "Seems afraid, though," Wonder Coach goads. Oh, he's going to play that card. "That's not the reason, is it, Clark?" Lana says, sticking up for her secret boyfriend. "It's my dad," Clark says again. Coach goes on to a speech about stepping out of your dad's shadow. How mortifying, to have five people in the middle of the hallway discussing whether you're a wussy or not. I'd have had to transfer to another school. "You ready to be your own man?" Coach concludes. Clark looks to Lana, who gives him a meaningful "You don't have to do this" look. Ever the dumb-ass, Clark says, "Count me in!" Lana looks disappointed. After everyone walks off, Pete reminds Clark that his dad won't like any of this one bit. He tries to be funny with it, but I'm doing him a favor by paraphrasing -- trust me.

More hallway drama. "This isn't about us," Lana says. She and Jocko argue about the football players who cheated. Jocko still doesn't see the big deal. Lana wonders how he can support that. "Because they're my friends," he says. He's got the big, blond, floppy hair. I keep thinking the strands are going to obscure the entire frame. Lana goes on a tear about the uncertainties of life, and how her whole world is crumbling because some guys cheated on a midterm. Oh, Lana. No wonder you never made it to Metropolis. Lana concludes by saying that Jocko is great at football, but that she wants to find something she's great at. How about starring in a TV show and having no discernible personality? You've already got a great start on that career track.

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Smallville

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