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Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Future Shock

First off, a shout-out to the folks in the editorial issues thread in the Feedback forum. If you spot any typos in this recap, they're directly attributable to the turkey gravy I just spilled all over my keyboard. Misspellicious.

I'll admit it. I'm a little excited. The preview for this episode was good and creepy and it looks like someone close to Clark Kent may die. We can only hope it's Chloe.

The episode begins with a shot of a bridge over a likely troubled pond. (Wanna make a bet whether there's kryptonite in there?) We cut to a shot of a big, old building with tons of columns in the front. It looks a bit like Lara Croft's house. Inside, as hospital-sounding voices float through a P.A. system, our wussy superhero (I like to call him "Man of Steel Magnolias") is walking down the hall with Sneaky Pete. Clark has a name tag on his blue jacket, which he's, of course, wearing over a red sweater with a white undershirt peeking through above the collar. Pete, passing an old man with a walker, asks how Clark talked him into this. Clark says they're required to do thirty hours of community service for their school. Did every student at Smallville High spraypaint a building or something? Pete says they could have done their mandatory time as lifeguards, watching the babes at the Y. Now, Pete, you know better than to win an argument with Clark by bringing babes into the equation. That's like trying to win an argument with a vegetarian by throwing beef jerky at him. "...instead of hanging out with the denture crowd," Pete finishes, his discomfort with the elderly clearly evident, and the snark of Chloe following him like a stinkcloud. Pete asks what's the attraction of being at the old folks' home. Just then, Lana Lang appears from a doorway. She says hi. Clark slyly says he didn't know Lana volunteered there. "Yeah, right," Pete mumbles, and Clark gives him a subtle elbow. Only, if this were true to Clark's strength, Pete would be flying through a window right now. Lana says she's been volunteering for weeks. Clark says he's reading with a woman named Cassandra. "She's an interesting woman," Lana says. "Some of the nurses say she can see the future." Which nurse would that be? Nurse Exposition? Clark and Pete exchange a look. Pete points his finger around a little, with no real direction or purpose. If Lex were doing that, you know we'd all be at attention right now.

Cut to a very old woman reading Braille out of a book. Only, it looks as if her finger is lighting up the page as she runs it across the page, like she's E.T. We pan up to her face, and she is, indeed, old. She's got that skull-mouth thing where her jaw juts out. She's wearing these huge dark glasses that seem very cool, as if she's going to bust out "Georgia on My Mind." "It takes two of you to read to me now, does it?" she says in an easily imitatable, quavery, old-woman voice. Pete and Clark, who we see are standing at the door, look at each other in surprise. Cassandra invites them in. When Clark asks how she knew there were two of them, she says she's blind, but not deaf. In fact, she could hear the creepy show music and infer that an encounter with two young bucks was imminent. She could also hear their shoes squeaking down the hall. Pete blurts out a question: can she tell the future? "Way to go, Pete, real subtle," Clark says. Cassandra asks Pete his name. She's got her glasses off now and looks, if it's even possible, to have aged another seventy years. She tells Pete that if he wants his fortune told, he should go to the circus. Then she drops her book in a very purposeful way; when Pete moves to pick it up, the dark music of foreboding plays. As he reaches down, Cassandra leans forward and, with all her special hearing abilities, finds his hand, clasping her own around it. Chimes play, signifying a magical encounter. "It's a long walk home," she says, channeling Christopher Walken in The Dead Zone. "Check your pockets." Pete does as more chimes play. He realizes he locked his keys in his car. "Dude, you're on your own," Sneaky Pete says, leaving the scene to the professionals. Incidentally, my friend Mical does a great Christopher Walken: "Your house. It's And...your daughter...your daughter's in...DANGER!" Cassandra gets up from her chair, smiles at Clark, and asks him his name. He smiles back real big, but not with his superwhite teeth.

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