Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Future Shock

Old folks at home. Nursing home, that is. Crusty Young Man, it turns out, is actually Piano Man. He's playing the ivory keys as if he put the "ace" in "Liberace." As he finishes, Cassandra says, "You play beautifully!" Piano Man says he was supposed to attend Metropolis Conservatory. Oops. Cassandra tells him that closed in the '70s, and that his voice sounds young. He corrects himself, saying that he wishes he could have attended, if he'd lived in a different time. Not a very smooth save. Cassandra slips her shades on and asks him to give an old lady a hand back to her room. She reaches her crystal hand out to Piano Man. "I already know my future," he whispers, and walks off. Dis!

Fruit stand -- by which I mean Clark is standing. As he carries some produce, Lex's fancy ride is swerving down the road, making all kinds of screech sounds. Is that car a deep purple? Lex get out of the car. Clark complains about Lex's speed, giving him a worried-mom look. Lex strides out wearing a blazer and a pastel purple shirt. "Seriously!" Clark insists. "You could get hurt!" Lex looks touched by that. He asks why Clark is so concerned about his health. Maybe he wants to get a joint life insurance policy. Clark explains about Cassandra, and how someone very close to him might die. Lex doesn't even blink about the "someone very close" part. But you know inside, he's doing little cartwheels of joyous excess. Lex says the soothsayer is probably just being entertaining so she'll have an audience. Clark says that Lex sounds like his parents. "That must be a first," Lex says, smiling slyly. They keep walking, and end up inside Lex's office. Lex slips off his stuffy, hot, heavy coat and asks Clark whether he really wants to know the future. Clark asks whether Lex wants to know his future. "Life's a journey, Clark. I don't want to go through it following a road map," Lex says, opening up a bottle of his trademark blue water and holding it in his hand, because if you're Lex, you want something in that hand at all times. "It still wouldn't kill you to drive more slowly," Clark pouts. Lex says he doesn't have to: he has Clark as a friend, and Clark changed his future once already. They both stare at each other for what seems like hours, earning themselves the coveted Gayest Look of the Episode award. Clark gives a tiny smirk and then says he has some more deliveries to make. I start hearing '70s porn "Bonk, shuka, bonk, bonk" music in my head. The Delivery Boy, starring Clark Kent. "All he wants is a good tip." Heh heh. I just cracked myself up. Before Clark leaves, Lex asks the psychic's name. Lex says he'll ask her for some stock tips. Clark leaves. Before the scene is over, all of those folks with Lexlust get their fill: he opens his lips and sucks down a huge sip from that big blue bottle. Enjoy.

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