Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Future Shock

...a cheesy graveyard. There are lots of too-bright lightning effects and rain pouring down as Clark stands in the middle of a bunch of gravestones. When lightning flashes again, we start to see names on the stones. Jonathan Kent (better known as "Bo Duke"). We see stones for MamaKent, Chloe, Pete, and Lana. No gravestone for Lex, interestingly. Clark turns to each, reacting with horror. He finally lifts his arms a little and yells, "Noooo!" We crane-shot up to reveal that Clark is standing in a spiral of gravestones that stretch all around him. "Nooo!" he screams some more as we pan further and further back revealing more gravestones. I want to yell out, "MENDOZAAAAAAA!"

We brightly flash back to Cassandra's room. "No!" Clark whimpers. "You saw that too!" Cassandra says. Clark rushes out of the room at blur-speed, and Cassandra holds her own hand, putting it to her head; it looks like she may cry. They need this lady on the show every week.

I know it's a farm, but I keep thinking it's the Kent Vineyard what with all the whine that Clark keeps schlepping around. This time, he's whining about his "glimpse of the future." MamaKent and Bo Duke are skeptical, which is crazy considering that their son can bend toilet seats with his pinkie. At one point, Clark brings up the meteor shower and Bo Duke is all, "Oh, yeah, so that makes it that she can predict the future." My God, man! Get a grip! The meteor shower is responsible for car crashes, supermopes and each week's villain! How are you this detached from your fictional reality? Clark brings up my point and then cries that he may outlive everyone he loves. He's totally throwing a conniption fit. "I don't want to be alone," he says, before stalking off. Aw, Clark. That was almost cute. He even stops right in front of the camera like Little Superboy Lost. Bo Duke comes over and tells Clark, "The only person who controls your destiny is you." Clark says he doesn't feel like he has control of anything. Then he walks off. This Dramatic Moment brought to you by Pepperidge Farm, the most earnest of cheeses. Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Cassandra outside in a strange maroon outfit with a little Arby's bow at the neck. She's reading the Braille edition of The Daily Planet. Lex Luthor walks up behind her, carrying a teeny tiny purple flower. "Do those expensive shoes come with a name?" Cassandra asks him. "Lex Luthor," he answers. She asks if he's that same Lex Luthor that owns everything. He is. Lex sets the flower down on a backgammon board next to her and sits. She asks what he wants. Lex starts asking smack about Clark. "What makes me think you're not here for stock tips, Mr. Luthor?" Cassandra asks. Lex, in a bright blue shirt and dark blazer, smiles. Lex says that he's looking for insight into Clark, who is a friend, but also a mystery. "Most people are," Cassandra tells Lex. "That's what makes them interesting." Lex comes right out and offers her money. "I can't tell you about Clark," Cassandra says with a hand wave. She tells Lex she can only tell the future. She reaches out her hand to take Lex's and tell his future, but Lex doesn't bite. (At least not in my dreams he doesn't. Wait. Did I say that out loud?) Lex says he doesn't need to know his future. Cassandra asks if that's because his father has it all mapped out. Lex says he makes his own destiny and he don't need no stinkin' fortune teller. "Maybe I'll see your friend, Clark," Cassandra says, trying to entice him. Ooh, she must be reading the "Homoeroticism, Yay!" thread in the forums. Lex gives her a hard stare and tells Cassandra goodbye. "It's been enlightening," he says, and takes off. She tells him to come back when he's ready.

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