I'd just like to say that if any of you pay money to go see Collateral Damage, you're not allowed to read my recaps anymore.
The Smallville trailer park of one. Kyle is getting his head ducked into a police car. Obviously, in a scenario like this, things go wrong. Clark and Jocko are leaning against a second police car. Bo walks up to them and says, in case we are drooling idiots, that Kyle is getting booked for assault. "So what happened?" he asked. Well, after The Dukes of Hazzard, you kind of tooled around, found God, portrayed Michael Landon in a TV film, and hosted (I'm not making this up) Honey, I'm Pregnant Too! A Pregnancy Guide for Men (1999). Now, you're on Smallville. I'd say you pretty much owe The WB your next child. Jocko tells Bo that he saw Kyle Radley in town and then came out to "talk." If by "talk" you mean "introduce Mr. Femur to Mr. Louisville Slugger." Bo is skeptical. Jocko, no longer under the effect of the hypno-handshake, is dumb enough still to believe it all makes sense. Bo asks Clark what happened. Clark says he did see Jocko get clocked, but that Kyle says he was attacked first. Clark is nothing if not loyal to his boyfriends. Jocko gets annoyed and asks why he would do that. Clark shakes his head and says that none of it makes sense. Hey, Clark. Did a single moment of "Hothead" make sense to you? Jocko gets really annoyed, especially after Bo tells him to calm down. He calls Kyle a "freak" and accuses Clark of making things up. He does an angry pausing look, then broods off to go brood with his broody friends at their coffee and brood-biscotti shop.
Some welcome hip-hoppy-flavored white-boy ska is playing as we get a quick exterior shot of Smallville High, then go inside to see Chloe checking out the front page of the Ledger. She's wondering how the hermit became Public Enemy #1. Wanna take a line there, Pete? "Something must have made him snap," Pete says. Yeah -- like not getting any good lines or subplots on the show for weeks. If you snap, Pete, I think we'll all forgive you. Clark says he thinks Young Chris Isaak is behind all this. Despite what happened with Jocko, for Clark, nothing's changed. Chloe calls Kyle their "rural Rodin." I used to think "The Thinker" just needed a roll of toilet paper. Clark asks Chloe to try to find a connection between the two men. Try IMDb.com, Chloe. It's faster that way. Wanna take another line, Pete? "What do you think they have in common?" Pate asks. Chloe jokes about the difference in their grooming habits. You're one to talk, Flippy the Flippery Hair Flip Flip-Perpetrator.