Oh, man. Boobs McChesty alert. She's standing in front of a portrait of sunflowers (future Evil Lex reference!), and it's hard to tell which one is more animated. She's wearing a leopard-skin jacket that she must have stolen from some Metropolis pimp, and a necklace that probably served as his medallion. Young Chris Isaak comes up to her from behind (is there any other way?), and gives her a drink. He says he's surprised to find her in Smallville. God, I hope it's just for one more episode. She says, "It grows on you." Like a fungus? Among us? Just then, Lex -- wearing lots of black -- shows up and tells Boobs McChesty not to encourage YCI. Then he snarks that Smallville needs more pesticides in its water. Can we just stick it in Boobs's drink? YCI smarms that Lex is just jealous that somebody is sharing his sandbox. "Only when they're polluting it," Lex says. Wait. Is that a kitty litter joke? I can never tell. Young Chris Isaak moves to shake Lex's hand, but Lex deftly swings around and grabs a glass of wine from a tray instead. John Madden: "You see, he juked to the right, finding an opening, and he just ran with it. Isaak had nowhere else to go. Now that's penetration!" Some back and forth about YCI's offices. YCI offers Lex a button. Lex bitches that soon the town won't be inhabitable. YCI says he follows the rules. Lex says he has an interest in Smallville because he lives there. I never thought I'd say this, but this Lex scene is kinda boring. YCI mentions that he had spoken to Lionel Luthor about Lex's "exile." In this neverending exchange, YCI reveals that he's found the perfect place for his new plant: The Kent Farm. Lex tells YCI that it's going to be impossible to get the Kents to sell their farm. "Trust me, Bob. You're not that charming," Lex says, and throws back the button. Got to admit, Lex does know from charming.
Nighttime. What, did Clark drive to Missouri? Clark gets out of a truck, presumably arriving at Kyle "Boo" Radley's house. A trashcan sitting outside a trailer has a strange affinity for Clark's inner desires. Because it's flaming. Clark walks up to the trailer door and knocks. We see there are sculptures in the yard, but we can't tell if they're bad or not. We see the creepy woodsman point-of-view camera angles again, this time behind Clark and one of the big sculptures. Clark knocks again. He turns around and almost kisses Kyle Radley on the mouth as he suddenly appears behind him. "How'd you do that?" Clark says. Um, Clark? I think he was already outside. "Magic," Kyle whispers, and with his wide, wily eyes on an intrigued Clark, he somehow unexpectedly walks away with the Gayest Look of the Episode Award. "Haven't you heard of Crazy Kyle who lives in the woods by himself?" Kyle says, his eyes darting and dancing, extending the Look until it's nearly unbearable. He refers to himself as somewhere between Bigfoot and the Blair Witch. Clark tries to offer a hand to introduce himself, but Kyle already knows who he is. He reads The Advocate. Clark asks how he knows him. "I live in a trailer, not a cave," Kyle says. How anti-Taliban of him. Clark wants to know what happened with the Lana/horse incident. And not the one on the internet. Kyle Radley says she was thrown off her horse and he was just trying to help. He also says that if he wanted to explain himself all the time, he'd get a job. That line almost makes some sort of sense. As Kyle moves to the door to go inside, Clark asks why he's so unfriendly. The man says he's not interested in friends. Or Frasier and Just Shoot Me for that matter. Clark whips out his Bag O' Many Platitudes (a Christmas gift from Bo) and says everyone needs a friend. Kyle says you don't because they always betray you in the end. Are we sure Kyle Radley isn't M.C. Hammer in disguise? Kyle goes inside.